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its the sun and the flower.
and the colours of the rainbow.
these are some of the things i love. <3
I am just like the sun and you the flower. I’ll provide sunlight for you to blossom. Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you. But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you. Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight (:
“It’s always volleyball this volleyball that, you have got no life. You don’t even have time for your family anymore. Volleyball is like the world to you” is what my parents always say.
I don’t deny that volleyball is really important to me, but after what happened today after the match, I really don’t know how much volleyball means to me anymore. I mean, I love the sport and the challenge. But time and again I cry silently when once again, my and madd’s names have to be included in it. I mean, isn’t it enough that they mentioned about us during U19, in front of all our juniors? That our skills aren’t good enough to play with them yet we strive? I mean, hello, everyone has some pride and some things they don’t really wish to share with the juniors right? And by doing this, the juniors will just look down on us even more, and it really hurts each time they keep saying it. I mean yeah, I know they meant for the juniors to appreciate us more, but did it even occur to them that it might be hurting us in another way? Our pride is one thing. Our hardwork is another.
I have been striving so hard just so that I can not be looked down upon. I have been striving so hard just to show them that one day, I can play alongside them and win glory for the school too. I have been striving so hard to gain coach’s recognition. I have been striving so hard so as not to let siii down, after all, her sms a couple of months ago has been my source of motivation. I don’t wanna let Zhijun, gill down either. That’s what the 5 of us cried and agreed on in tanglin court a couple of months back, to stick together no matter what happens. I love them. They are all my dearies.
Sometimes, I just wished someone has this ability like Baokun, to pull the team together like he did last year. His punishments such as wei-ing bonded us together, his presence lifted the team’s spirit…but I know something happened this year. Bao Kun is no longer coaching us and the team’s been different in every way, except for the fact that we are still losing every single match. Yup, every one.
My dad mentioned over dinner yesterday that I have changed a lot since I was a baby. As a baby, I was always the most cheerful one, laughing at every little thing. But he mentioned that ever since I got into Crescent Girls School, life has taken a definite downturn for me. He noticed lesser smiles on my face and more tears of sorrow and hurt.
Well, I couldn’t help it. I was ostracized in sec 1 and sec 3, and the feeling was way beyond description. It was like the whole world’s crashing on me and all I wanted was to hide away from everyone, everything and just keep my feelings, my thoughts, my words, all to myself. At least no one will rebut what I say or feel, at least I don’t get hurt this way.
I am just not who I used to be. I am not the cheerful Mel no more. I just can’t help it. Sii, Elaine, Wong, Sam and Madd, sorry for worrying you guys just now, I just needed time on my own to put away some hurt feelings regarding the “madd and mel” issue. I really know you guys meant good, but sometimes, I feel hurt each time you guys mentioned it. I don’t wanna rake up the past, yet it keeps haunting me when you guys say it again. How the seniors used to ostracized me, madd and yen like my classmates used to do to me in secondary 3, how I strive up till date and still achieve practically nothing, at least not good enough to be as useful as the rest of you guys, and I am really tired. Really very tired. I haven’t even been feeling well lately. Giddiness that lasted 2 weeks that I was so sure I was gonna collapse if it persisted, and even after medication I still get giddiness a few times suddenly everyday. Not that I am scaring myself, but it makes me wonder a lot of things that I shan’t mention, but who are the dearests and closest to me.
I love my vball dearies and my family and no matter how much I have changed as a person that fact wouldn’t change. (:
*-Melissa Ng. :]
*-090188
*-Capricorn.
*-Republic poly-Biotechnology. Year 3.
*-standing at a mere 163 cm. :|
LOVES
*-winter holidays
*-teddies
*-romance
*-the one who can make me smile. :]
*-colors: green, pink, blue
*-pumps [:
*-watching stars by the beach
*-donuts!
*-pretty stuffs
*-music. its my life.
*-sweet memories
*-to be loved and to love
*-beach volleyball
*-those havaianas slippers
*-NUM wear
*-puppies
*-hamsters
*-ice-skatingg
*-pretty earrings
HATES
*-cockroaches! EWWW.
*-jerks
*-ghosts :|
*-being heartbroken
*-people who make me cry
*-cocky people
*-backstabbers.
WANTS
*-that YOU
*-everything for my family
*-everything for my friends
*-to stay happy everyday
*-to slim down
*-to be pampered
Madd
Rena
Janjan
Ah ma
Sissy donkey
mr.lion kai
felicia
Junguang
Sueann
Gillian
Shuhui
Jiehui
Jasmine
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(c)mel
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