its the sun and the flower.
and the colours of the rainbow.
these are some of the things i love. <3



I am just like the sun and you the flower. I’ll provide sunlight for you to blossom. Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you. But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you. Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight (:

yay.thanks rena for teaching me how to reload the page so that the old blogger functions appear! =X i feel so silly now that its solved so easily. haha

and yayness! training resumes tmr. i miss the soft feel of the volleyball. haha.ok. i sound really gay liddat.

phloy turned 21 today. HAPPY BURFDAE PHLOY!
In any way, her halton terrace chalet was so damn hard to find. madd madd and I got lost. And ended up at the govt. chalet instead, so we thought "lets take a bus the other way" and it turned out the chalet was only abit further up, one busstop and we overshot the chalet already, leaving us no choice but to walk down the slope...and it was really scary!! It was dark and there were loads of trees and shadows and dim lights and it was quiet. way tooo quiet for my liking. The whole place felt damn haunted. ='( and I realised I walked past Old Changi Hospital, which was even worse!! =''''( The chalet was smacked right beside OCH. great man. Scared me outta my wits. =x It's a place i wouldnt wanna venture into again.

Phloy and her bf are so sweet! Haha, I cant believe I saw both of them blushing when everyone egged them to kiss. I feel so evil. hehe =x
And And!! Xiao de is attached! Madd madd was shocked on that one. haha. And I saw the volleyball girl seniors that I havent seen for awhile~ Xiao de, Jasmine See, Angela, Elaine...Those were the days man. I miss having training in tanglin campus outdoor court where I could see the stars and just lie on the court after training to admire them and feel the cool breeze.

So tired. still have FYP meeting tmr...and funny, I am smelling the smell of joss sticks and joss paper in my room =( oh no oh no.. i am not imagining it. i seriously smell it since i came home. eeek! ><

one thing i realised about myself...
i fear commitment.
i fear being too close to people.
i fear of getting hurt.
i fear of hurting them.

if not, why havent i accepted anyone these 2 years?

many a times i tried to get closer to people, and back off hurriedly in the end.
i wish i knew why.
was it because of a previous incident?
or am i just a scaredy cat?

dunno.
sometimes i feel that my life is filled with ambiguity and constant hesitant.

how do i tell if i like someone? i dont trust my feelings anymore~
can 2 people who are so different in terms of lifestyle ever end up together?

anyway, went to a close friend's house to bai nian today.
watched bao bei ji hua again, and saw madd madd's fav. louis khoo. haha
then went to eat dinner at NTU alumni club. Had yu sheng at Yunan restaurant. And the worst dish was goose palm! yeah! literally goose web palms. it looked so gross. how can it be a delicacy! gross. =(

dressed up in matured style today. my parents said I look in my twenties this way. lols. It feels good to be treated like an adult at times. I wanna learn to be independent. Feel that I have been carefully cared for under my parents wings these 19 years. Its high time to come out of that shelter and learn about the real world. how things function. i know i cant afford to be naive or ignorant anymore. i gotta learn to survive! This is one of the reasons why I would like to study overseas but I dont wanna burden my parents with school fees, rather, i would like them to save it for my 2 younger siblings. So i am gonna strive for local. i want either my business admin/management or travel and hospitality management.

as for now, fyp and PP is priority. I need to do my Fyp!! Need to arrange a meeting for the team to go and read up at NUS library together...still need to wait for Benny Koh to update us on meeting dates and progress of tank shifting.

Time flies. I am already in year 3. And 19! Still living in self-denial. haha.

Not feeling so well today. Skip beats. Oh well, it has got to be the lack of sleep.
i need sleep. =(

off to check my emails.

this is the first time in my life i am being labelled third party (whether it was a joke or not) and that feeling sucks man.
now i am feeling so weird that I just cant bring myself to play maple while the 2 guys are online. great. smart mel. why did u have to go mention it and make things weird for everyone???

i wish he'll grow up and be a mature guy..much as i would like to console him and share abt his family matters, i wish he would be stronger. feeling so cliche'.
just hope i wasnt too harsh.

feeling so !@$@#%#$^%& right now.
i am not sleepy, and i dont wanna go back to maple.
which leaves, chatting on msn in "appear offline" mode.
maybe this will give me a clearer mind.

things i need to do:
- coordinate the rest of the fyp team to go NUS together.
- read emails daily
- do PP
- stop thinking about dumb stuffs. (i'm really hating myself for this)

arghhh. just need some peace.

slept from 2.30am-1.10pm tdy. was supposed to meet madd at chinatown at 12pm.great. ended up rushing out of house and being in stone mode the whole day.
its like..i tried borrowing 2 reference books, and almost went on 2 escalators in the wrong direction. (that left madd laughing away). gosh. whats wrong with me. i am getting blurrer by the day.

just.gimme.some.peace.for.awhile.
need.to.organise.some.thoughts.
needta.chill.out.

You Are 88% Pure

You're so innocent, it's almost like you're not human. Taking this test is probably the naughtiest thing you've done in a while!

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

Your Birthdate: January 9

You are a born idealist, with more pet causes than you can count. You prefer be around others, both when working and while relaxing. Generous and giving, you believe you can change the world one person at a time. You're open minded and tolerant. People feel like they can tell you anything. Your strength: Your go-with-the-flow flexibility Your weakness: Your flair for the over dramatic Your power color: Pine green Your power symbol: Circle Your power month: September

Your Kissing Purity Score: 100% Pure

You've hardly ever been kissed But the kisses you've given are very missed

You Are 8% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

Whee. Quiz Taking Spree! =P

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Your Career Personality: Organized, Responsible, and Future-Oriented

Your Ideal Careers: Biomedical engineer Business executive College professor District attorney Hedge fund manager Investment banker Judge Military leader Political strategist Surgeon

You Are 14 Years Old

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

Your Brain is 67% Female, 33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as strong willed and stubborn. Overall, your true self is passive and thoughtful. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner. For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience. You attract others with wit and a bit of flash. Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you. Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life. You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past. You connect best with: Earth Avoid: Fire You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

You Are 52% Grown Up, 48% Kid

You've grown up a good bit, but you still have a way to go before you're emotionally mature. You have the skills to control your emotions, you just have to use them.

Your Love Type: ESFP

The Performer In love, you relish every moment and tend to get caught up in passion. For you, sex is how you get in touch with all your senses. Overall, you are creative, popular, and flexible. However, you tend to dislike criticism and avoid any conflict. Best matches: ISTJ or ISFJ

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. With respect to money, you save for a rainy day. You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others. The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you. You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you make opportunities to interact with many people through club activities or a hobby, then select someone you like.

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

Your EQ is 140

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2

"Sky falls, you feel like It's a beautiful day Don't let it get away" You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments. And if you're feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too.

Its been a month since I blogged. gosh.

What a day!!
Went out with madd madd today. Long time since we ever got to go out and chit chat about everything under the sun. Had loads of fun gossipping and chatting about the recent changes in our life.

Well. Today was totally weird. practicaly everything suey that I mentioned turn out to be true. First, went to Bugis with the idea of borrowing books to study for the next semester (wanna chiong gpa alrdy!), so...i was chatting about madd's classmates Su xin and Yong Quan on the way there, and who knows, we really saw them at the library O_o. so shocking! And as always, no luck in borrowing any books, but i saw a meg cabot novel, sequel to all american girl! so i borrowed it =P

Then we decided. well, lets go to school library then. Since jul said school library would have more books. So we took a train all the way down, and i started "Madd, what if the sch library closes when we reach there?" And when we walked to the schoo library. The librarian closed the glass door right in front of us. great. -_-" and we were saying the last person we wanted to see was that stupid @!$@#%#^ security guard that accused us of gambling on the friggin last day of sch. AND WE DID. GREAT. zzz

So we gave up, went to woodlands civic library...and..still no luck -_-. All for reference only.gosh.

Upon giving up, we took the train to Somerset for dinner. But on the train, there was this urgh! tiko guy who kept staring at us. Non stop!!! (Oh please!! we dont have britney's boobs, J.Lo's butt or Felicia Chin's legs!) So we shifted uncomfortably and ignored him. Budden, another white shirt dragon boat guy was also staring!! So I ended up feeling so darn weird. I mean, I am not a babe, neither is madd, so why do they keep staringgg. -_-"
I thought there was a huge hole in my shorts! =|

Anyways, went to kobayashi for dinner. And met MORE weird people. So funny laa! One guy approached us from behind and asked us what he should get for his 6 year old niece. white tiger or blue elephant. so we said blue elephant cause its cuter. and he concluded he would buy the white tiger so loudly. dots! then why ask us in the first place?! So i argued back that we girls like cute stuff. and made him ponder while we walked away.lols.

And and!! I saw gays!!! arghh!! A group of 4 somemore!! one of them had red hair and was practically wearing those china cheongsam sleeveless top. *faint* see already wanna puke. And madd saw 2 secondary school girls kissing behind mee.whee.what a weird day. =P

Walked with madd while we chatted. Walk from cine to Wheelock place to Far East Plaza to Scotts to Tangs to Heeren to John little as we chatted about everything. Madd now also xing fu wor...tracker this tracker that. haha. And so I chatted about some of my uncertain feelings too... hees. it feels good to have a good friend. =DD

Jul, if you ever ever find this blog, thanks for borrowing that GMP book for me! =D

Yay.Iceskating tmr.wheeeee.

Currently watching: Tokyo Juliet. (Wu Zun Wu Zun!!! =DDD)
Listening to: M2M-Dont say you Love me.

*-Melissa Ng. :]
*-090188
*-Capricorn.
*-Republic poly-Biotechnology. Year 3.
*-standing at a mere 163 cm. :|

LOVES
*-winter holidays
*-teddies
*-romance
*-the one who can make me smile. :]
*-colors: green, pink, blue
*-pumps [:
*-watching stars by the beach
*-donuts!
*-pretty stuffs
*-music. its my life.
*-sweet memories
*-to be loved and to love
*-beach volleyball
*-those havaianas slippers
*-NUM wear
*-puppies
*-hamsters
*-ice-skatingg
*-pretty earrings

HATES
*-cockroaches! EWWW.
*-jerks
*-ghosts :|
*-being heartbroken
*-people who make me cry
*-cocky people
*-backstabbers.

WANTS
*-that YOU
*-everything for my family
*-everything for my friends
*-to stay happy everyday
*-to slim down
*-to be pampered

Madd
Rena
Janjan
Ah ma
Sissy donkey
mr.lion kai
felicia
Junguang
Sueann
Gillian
Shuhui
Jiehui
Jasmine

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Image:
getty images
(c)mel

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As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You’re the only love I’ll need

In my life you’re all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You’re the one that’s there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I’d be lost and so confused
I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid
Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it’s just impossible
Because of you, it’s all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can’t imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
You’re love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard me calling
And you rush to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you
I can’t imagine me without you