its the sun and the flower.
and the colours of the rainbow.
these are some of the things i love. <3



I am just like the sun and you the flower. I’ll provide sunlight for you to blossom. Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you. But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you. Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight (:

happy & sad.
my life's such a mixture of feelings right now.
i dont even know where to begin with.
hot and cold.
sigh. how did all these confusion in my mind surface. gosh. get it outta my head.

praying that jan and sii's friend will awake later. And may he have miraculously be able to remember all of them and speak fine...God Bless him. ok, I may not be christian but I believe God will bless everyone who hasnt done evil wrong doings. I hope he'll wake up and remember his mum at the very least.

this incident taught me one thing:
the fragility of life.
the bonds between people. it's never broken.

too tired to blog more. shall blog in GMP class tmr, if I dont get too stressed up in the process. Sigh. i hate GMP. oh gosh. 1.21AM. I am gonna sleep. Mummy janjan is going to kill me if i dont sleep soon. Goodnite! =D

what a wednesday.
no fyp. (thank God)
no more CE activities.
just a nice peaceful wednesday.
but its a tad too boring. haha

went out with xiao mo gu and janjan for a couple of hours today.
went to queensway for laksa then macs for fries (AND THEY ARE OUT OF SHAKER FRIES AS WELL.RAWR.) and drank bubble tea (the yam wasnt that nice..eeeek)
then we went to visit xiao mo gu's uncle in alexandra hospital.
while mo gu visited her uncle in the ward, janjan and I sat at the visitor's lounge (sounds posh but it isnt really) haha.
chatted about volleyball and I could really feel for her. I was in her shoes. I felt every bit of it. I know how much effort was put in, but in naught. I know how much sweat was shed, but to no avail. I know how much time was dedicated. but it all went to waste.we arent good enough. we just arent. I thank God for giving me a wonderful partner who understands how I feel.
I just hope we will be good enough soon. I just hope...i really do.
and then as we walked out. we shuddered in unison upon chatting about what would happen if we couldnt play volleyball anymore one day. i think we would all be really lost souls. with no other interests in our lives. and I was thinking. should that day come, who would be by my side to console me and bring all my dreams back. haha. so nonsense thinking laa.

see our slippers. haha. was taking it as we were walking cause i was bored. =\

anyway.went out to jurong east to eat after school with molly madd and daniel yesterday night. but me and girlfriend were totally being cheekily mischevious laa. hahas. we turned professional paparazzi ytd. lols. look what we got!

Madd madd and daniel. dont they look compatible? look so loving laa. Courtesy of molly with mel's camera. heehee


SEE SEE! proven proven! so lovey dovey in conversation! =O *mel & molly calafair so not in picture*


甜蜜蜜~~~~ hehehe. soooo compatibleeee right. lol.


And lastly, a picture of molly girlfriend emo-ing. hahaha. she's gonna kill me next training too. i am so gonna be murdered by them both. wahaha =P


knowing i am barely there; counting on you to play my part and bring my smiles back. =)

p.s. I am so gonna get my hands on those camp photographs. lol. *grins*

Dearest partner and I! ^^ loves. =D


Molly, janjan and me! (With keith being the backdrop here) lol. its supposed to be an all girls' photo! Rawr.



molly, me and adorable sarah! =)) the hot stuffs. wahaha. =P



2 LITTLE kids playing sand,building sandcastles. LOL. btw, the big kid there? Is EUGENE CHIA. wahaha.



Partner serving! haha. =D



Look at jiao lian block! =D



Look at jiao lian do his usual fake spike! haha.



Jan and Kevin look so compatible. lols! wahaha. Jan's gonna kill me for this. But even molly agrees. hahaa. ^^V



see! So COMPATIBLEEEEEEE. hahahaaa. Egg King and Queeeen. =P



Couple look! hahaha. =x I feel that jan's gonna kill me at training ltr. hahas. =x



Me and my full-time girlfriend molly! haha. hot hot! ^^



Molly was doing this really weird face so I followed. haha.



UNDERAGE DRINKING. someone catch him~!


here are some of the pictures today! =D (including jiao lian's shuai shuai volleyball game pose) haha. =X

woke up 7.10am today.
slept barely 4 hours.
so well, my first match against jia jing (hwee's friend)team, we lost by 2 points. so close. 19-21.
Won the second match against CJC SET team, 21-18. And well, scraped my knee in the process.but it wasnt as bad as hazel's or madd's. madd's wound was...one word. Bloody. eww!
Lost the third match against some damn tall guy from dunno where. But i've seen him around before. darn it. it was kinda close. 17-21.
so well. we lost.
oh well.
i wanna take part in the NUM one. i want the t-shirt. hahas.

had lotsa fun playing with my team today,though i really felt so lousy playing along with them, especially in the first match. I played like shyt, worse than how I played at rip curl. Probably because I didnt sleep enough. Well, i am gonna work harder. go go mel.
then played da fang with eugene, molly and keith. eugene accidentally hit the ball into a lady and a guy twice. and the second time, i went to get the ball. the guy was like...so bloody f* up. he said so loudly behind my back "how many times you wanna hit here?!" like wth. if you're so smart, say it to my face. It made me so pissed. rawr. i am still pissed. I should have retaliated. afterall, he came to watch beach vball without getting prepared to be hit by a couple of balls??? Lame shyt!

Went steamboat with the rest after that. 10 of us. Me, Madd, Janjan, Molly, Eugene, Wilson, Keith, Hwee, Alex, Kevin. hahas. it was fun~! I ate my favourite fried man tou =DDD! SO happy! hahaaa. then I got to cook but the oil splattered all over me anyway. ouchh. And Eugene was PLAYING WITH FOOD (7 EGGS). zZz. Monkeys will be monkeys. HA HA. =P
Statement: Raw Eggs are like sooo... EWW. *pukes*



SEE. PROVE. Crushing Hard Boiled Egg. tsk.


Wow. 11.53pm. I've gotta finish my FYP report and I am only on page 4 of corrections. I am gonna be zombified again tmr. pon sch?

sobs.
sometimes when people console you, you'll end up crying harder.

fyp report, studying of ut, fyp poster all to be done by friday 4pm. and what have i done today? none of the above. unless you count looking through 3 PPT slides as studying.
had no mood to study. ended up creating a new maple character in cassopeia. currently level 11. Llewlyn. Anyone who plays cass, feel free to add me.

training was tedious today. and it just hit me that there are so many people in the team suddenly. sii, thanks for the constant guidance. and jan partner, thanks for always fighting alongside me and encouraging me. you 2 are loved. =) i just...sigh.
new bruises again.what for.

i really wanna bring up that topic to someone. but how do i go about doing it so that it doesnt sound like i am siding people. sigh. i once suffered that way in secondary school too, and i dont wish that you'd follow in my footsteps. it's not a nice feeling.

feeling so stoned now. i've got school in less than 8 hours again. this sucks.
i'm tired. so so tired.
getting a cough in the process too.

newspaper stated that there were 401 cases of dengue last week. dear friends, you all must take care kkies...dont leave any puddles of water around your house. and wear insect repellent and mosquito net! haha.

aim for the week: help xiao mo gu find her vball keychain.
stop slacking and start doing some work.
stop thinking negatively.
sleep more on weekend. ok. sunday's screwed. nEbO beach vball.

time for bed: 1.04 am and counting.
i hate school.

the diet. come on mel. diet. get back to your 49kg at the very least...get those abs shu has. haha. abstinence.

a heart pure as snow, thy maiden seeks
not that of poison, or so she sees
barriers of steel, to protect thyself
once bitten twice shy, she sought to herself

knight in shiny armor; every maiden's wish
yes indeed, all maidens did
prince charming would suffice indeed
all but thy maiden dismiss
for she felt the feelings amiss

hurt by shadows; living in fear
that never again will her heart so hear
the melody of love within her ears

thy maiden ventures; a journey alone
seeking the one, she'd really treasure
as for now she'd settle
that her heart's not gonna flutter
as for now she'd settle
that 'i love you' she will not mutter

well. my regular crappish mode. i am still stucked in the world of my novel: the beauty bride. a fairytale so beautiful to me.

had training today after missing it for one week. well. got new wounds again. nothing new. but he was at the training. and damnation. did i HATE to see the likes of him. of his snobbbb nose. of his filthy mouth. of his un-gentleman demeanour. gosh...partner and i couldnt dislike him more. i bear a grudge. to none but him.

ubin came back today...and well. i couldnt help but feel sad along with my fellow teammates. since when had the team become more and more competitive? since when have we all played together as one, regardless of our heights or strengths and weaknesses? to my dearests, jiayou. jiayou. jiayou. i believe you guys are the best! =) and to dearest molly, thanks for that 2nd last ball birthday present surprise ah..... hahas.

i still remember that slogan of mine:
volleyball. its not just about the sport. but the girls too.
teammates. the friendship is not something fostered within a day. to me, teammates = friends = discovering each other's greatness and faults and yet, still liking them for who they are. the pureness of friendship is one not easily found. And i am glad i have you girls whom i deeply appreciate. my vball bestiesbesties ever hot molly, cute partner janis, ever act cool madd, and ever hungry shu. loves. u're all loved. =)

brain's turning from pentium I to typewriter(Gary's normal thinking speed) already.
gonna catch some sleep to be able to smoke ahead with my flowery language in lab management class tmr. hahas.

TAN JUN GUANG.. IF YOU ARE READING THIS. DONT KAYPO !!! RAWR. *flashes teeth*

TAN JUN GUANG.. IF YOU ARE READING THIS. DONT KAYPO !!! RAWR. *flashes teeth*

wounded by said words; it is indeed
to follow that bidding; i shall deem fit
engulfed in fury from head to feet
adhere to that bidding; i might indeed.
if you insist.

current novel: Claire Delacrox-The beauty bride.
got my sudden wave of woven poetry from there. historical romance novels are simply enchanting and captivating to me.i always seem to find difficulty in putting these books down because the characters tend to tease and speak to each other with such wit. =)

went to sentosa with eugene, janjan, hwee, kevin and tony today. rainy weather. dampened feelings. nevertheless, we enjoyed ourselves. as least for the couple of hours we were soaked in the rain anyway. but i am glad i didnt turn darker.

school's reopening. and much as i am so not looking forward to it, i have to accept it. darn it. back to those long days at school trying so hard to impress the facilitator with my 'wits' just so that i can get a meagre small A for a daily grade, which apparently ups my grades by 0.16 per A. ok, i am desperate for it. havent gotten much lately. and there's no better opening to school with a well planned UT schedule. yippee. -_-

2 weeks of holidays have passed in the blink of an eye.

played lightbulb just now.joined my parents for dinner at suntec while my brother and sister had their own birthday parties to attend. never felt so lost without my siblings to chat with. hahaa.

and its just so qiao that the famous zouk i have always heard of is actually like some 3 minutes drive away from my house. wow. i feel like some nerd. janjan, kevin, hwee and eugene jio-ed me to go club with them next friday.thinking hard...never liked places that are too smokey. and well. i dont think i can hold my liquor well. always red in the face after a couple of sips. 3.5 half cups of vodka can actually get me 70% wasted. hahas.

plans for tmr:
- change blog layout? (pending)
- go cycling
- draft PP questions for the 3rd time (lost the other 2)
- finish my nice novel
- go bowling?
- sim lim square?

anyway. back to my novel.
kelong anyone?

went iceskating with madd, hwee, wong, alex, lil' sarah (wong's sis) and wilson today. =)) it was tremendous fun~! (just apart from the fact that its freaking crowded. zZ)
its really funny to see madd madd try to skate for the first time. hahas.
and little sarah was zooming her way recklessly around the rink after barely half an hour of grappling the beginner's bars.
we were like so stunned when she whizzed off...and honestly, falling 20 over times and getting her clothes all wet didnt affect her at all.



the skating khakis for the day! =)

wilson and wong were pretty fast at catching it.
whereas hwee and I were up to mischevious ideas with our scheming grins. hahas. we each took a hand of madd's and dragged her to skate with us, then left her in the middle of the rink..she was like so freaked out,until she gripped tightly on the arm nearest to her (which happened to be wilson's arm). hahaha. What a couple. And we went about trying to scare wilson off his skates as well. lols.
felt like we were babysitting little sarah today. she's so cute lars~! She was exhilarated to see "snow" falling with every birthday dedication. we almost lost her once, only to find that she had whizzed right into the center of the "foam gathering people" and was too short to be seen. hahas.

here's little sarah: =D



little sarah won with 20+ falls today. i think it could even possibly be 30+.
runner up goes to wilson. 6-7 falls. hahas.
then madd madd, and alex and hwee and wong.
mel didnt fall! heng heng. hahas. even hwee and wilson couldnt make me fall.muahaha ^^V

some of the other photos. =)








madd madd and alex act couple. lol...



cool wong wong =)



emo-stone queen. taken by alex... =|



the 2 mental patients at the rink. lol.






chain skating~! =D


now that i've read a blog sadder than mine, and heard of so many people worse off than me...i've started to learn how to count my blessings.
uncertain of everything i might be, but its nothing compared to a certain pain they feel.
everybody wears a mask for various reasons.
some wear a mask to hide their sadness so not to worry friends.
some wear a mask where beneath lies their darkest secrets.
some wear a mask so that they would have a protection from the sarcastic world.
some wear a mask to hide their pains and worries.
some wear a mask to hide their true identity.
some are just.sardonic bitches who tramples on the heart and feelings of others.
some are just bastards who dunno whats good for them is what's closest to them.

time to sleep. i wish the world had no bitches, bastards, backstabbers and sad people.

signing off.

fyp.tmr morning. to be at woodlands mrt at 845am.
to be in school by 9am. for half to one hour.
feeding of crabs.
rawr.
dumb crabbies!

be right back. blow hair.
back...
was late for fyp meeting today.
goodness me laa. the meeting finished in half an hour.and i was late for half an hour...so i went there only for the discussion, not for the wet lab. sigh.

then after that...defied my parents and went to watch rena's match (finals) at phs. gosh, i never felt so high for so long. watching them play gave me all the motivation to become liddat one day too...sounds unrealistic..but yah! i am so motivated! haha. good game xiao mo gu =)) you were astounding and shocking on the court, especially in the first 2 sets. haha.
sembawang's number 6 is so....scary. I saw that super duper beauutiful spike. she jumped so high, her body facing opponent's subset, yet her hand was raised so suddenly in a diff direction and she spiked so hard down on the center instead...so cool laaa! =|
phs alumni no.9 libero also so zai...goodness me..she's like so flexible!!!
all of them played so freaking well...
gosh. gosh. gosh.

oh man. i feel so sleepy again.
so my mind is as usual, in a state of confusion.
why is everyone telling me to do that?
what does my heart feel?
what does my brain think?
what if i did this?
what if i did that?
rawr. i wished that i could get some signals on what to do.

its iceskating day! whee wheeeeee. i cant wait..but i am so broke laa. gone case..
i dont dare ask my parents for money either...sigh.
how how how.
7 of us going. janjan not going. monkey also dont wanna go.
so sad laa.

too tired to talk already...dozing off. 5 hours 12mins to sleep. zZzzz.
gdniteee =)

cam-whoring night with jan, shu, madd and alex~! haha.
red blue yellow green <-- so qiao! Primary Colors of the rainbow =D



we can fly we can fly~~~ fly us to the moon...











My beloveds =D






See, hear, smell no evil + one calafair. hahaa.





L-O-V-E. =)





My dearest partner jan jan! my BESTfriend! dont steal. hahaha.




training was fun today...at least i am surprised by myself..managed to receive alot alot of balls as compared to last week. i guess beach volleyball and constant practice helps? the only thing is that i cant set. sigh~

so darn tired...fell asleep talking on msn and while blogging.
mel wins the piggy award!

i shall come to a conclusion soon. i have to. i just hope i trusted the right thing... i am so so tiredddddd.
tmr still got fyp...rawr!!!!!

shall i ask you along too. i just want things to be fine between you and you. sigh~

anyways. i really cannot stay awake already..my brain is rotting..gdnite!~
zZzzzzzzZzzZZ

damnn damnn tired~!

woke up this morning at 7am. wake up call from hwee.
he seems to be me and kai's alarm clocks for today.
dragged myself outta bed, joined them for breakfast at seah im
and went all the way to potong pasir i forgot wad CC
to play some friendly match against SMU.
their coach power laa.us also he scold. -_-"
"i hate this kind of lousy serve. waste so much energy to serve and still serve into net" he said that to me, kai, phloy and hwee and that setter friend of hwee's...ok, practically everyone. hahas.
but it was super fun. played spiker today. heng i still can spike with guy's net ah. and honestly. i was a blur pok in court again. hahas.

anyways, damn tired.
after our match, we still went back to RP to watch some music appreciation show in TRCC (and YES. i already knew the whole contents of the ppt), so it was darn boring for me.
and during refreshments break, i was trying to be nice and serve everyone. ended up squeezing mayonaise ALL OVER hwee's center friend's hand. OOps. =| so paiseh!!
then we watched the little kids perform.
honestly speaking..those kids...need more practice. i dont deny that they're nervous, but they should have memorized their piece beforehand...however,
Selina Tang is my new idol!
She's like only 12...and hello. she can play the violin and piano like nobody's business. Those vanessa mae standard. gosh. She's really really talented. and she ignited the musician in me once again by reminding me that music is beautiful. =)
Four Seasons by Vivaldi. She played it with so much expression and feel to it. gosh. awed. even vincent and hwee's 2 "half asleep" friends were clapping. goodness.

and then and then. sheesh. i forgot what i wanted to say.
hwee's number 2 setter friend realized he lost his card holder and ic only after we reached woodlands mrt station. And so hwee and his 2 buddies went back tracing.
And mel saves the day! ha ha.~ its just so nice i saved rp security number just in case i get locked in school some day and need someone to rescue me. hahaas. =|
and so, mel mel saves the day.using her ultra superpowers. lol. ok. i am nonsensing.
anyway, hwee's friend got back his card, and i got his smile back for him~! actually i thought he was the pretty dao kind at first though. hahas.

i am so tireddd. rawr. coolness. just watched dirty dancing on channel 5. the dance was so...sensual. gosh. or rather sexual. though i dont approve of it, but its so darn cool`! but i gotta say, step up's on par or better than dirty dancing. Not in terms of plot, but in terms of the choreographed dance.

ok. so i still dunno whats gonna on between B and C.
but i am so not enjoying it either.
not gonna think of it.

so tiredddd. guess i shall catch some sleep after this.
i wanna learn dancing! Ballroom dancing! dirty dancing!(ignore me. i am randomizing again) hahas. but honestly, i seriously dont mind. haha. if anyone can lift me up anyway. lols.

yesh ah. going iceskating going iceskating..wheeeeee!
am gonna catch some sleep...goodnite~!
8 days to Koh Samui.
wheee--> acting enthu. it doesnt seem to excite me as much anymore.i dunno why.
i wanna go winter. =\
okok. sleep time. time to slot in a classical cd as a lullaby today.

monkey...thanks for the chocolates. =)
thanks for being so sweet.

couldnt sleep last nite...
i dunno why either.
tried to sleep at 2.30 am,
ended up tossing in bed till 3.45am.
which tentatively meant...i had only 2 hours+ of sleep.
no mood to participate in class today.
no mood to study for ut.
all i wanna do is sleep.

came to school alone again.well, guess it should have been that way all along anyway.
afterall, its just a daily routine. me and my glass pane.
rawr. feeeling sooo tired laa.
still gotta wake up at 6+am tmr.

last day of school is such a drag. sigh.
tired. time to study for ut. no life sia. =(
i need chocolates to keep me awake.

*-Melissa Ng. :]
*-090188
*-Capricorn.
*-Republic poly-Biotechnology. Year 3.
*-standing at a mere 163 cm. :|

LOVES
*-winter holidays
*-teddies
*-romance
*-the one who can make me smile. :]
*-colors: green, pink, blue
*-pumps [:
*-watching stars by the beach
*-donuts!
*-pretty stuffs
*-music. its my life.
*-sweet memories
*-to be loved and to love
*-beach volleyball
*-those havaianas slippers
*-NUM wear
*-puppies
*-hamsters
*-ice-skatingg
*-pretty earrings

HATES
*-cockroaches! EWWW.
*-jerks
*-ghosts :|
*-being heartbroken
*-people who make me cry
*-cocky people
*-backstabbers.

WANTS
*-that YOU
*-everything for my family
*-everything for my friends
*-to stay happy everyday
*-to slim down
*-to be pampered

Madd
Rena
Janjan
Ah ma
Sissy donkey
mr.lion kai
felicia
Junguang
Sueann
Gillian
Shuhui
Jiehui
Jasmine

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(c)mel

June 2006
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As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You’re the only love I’ll need

In my life you’re all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You’re the one that’s there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I’d be lost and so confused
I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid
Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it’s just impossible
Because of you, it’s all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can’t imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
You’re love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard me calling
And you rush to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you
I can’t imagine me without you