its the sun and the flower.
and the colours of the rainbow.
these are some of the things i love. <3



I am just like the sun and you the flower. I’ll provide sunlight for you to blossom. Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you. But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you. Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight (:

i stole that smile again.
again and again, i stole his happiness.
well mel, if you cant make him happy, then give him up.
let him be happier elsewhere.
dont bother him. dont upset him.
dont make him feel lousy.
dont put any pressure on him.

thanks for the pancake today, loves.
it was yummy.
just that it might have been better if i had eaten it earlier.
hope you like the toasts and sausages too.
sorry my pancake mixed had some kinda mites in them =\

found out how sophia's boyfriend looked like at last.
she was kinda shy laa. haha.

i ate alot today. binge eating man:
- 1 garlic toast
- 2 mini sausages
- 4-5 pieces of pancake (:
- mee hoon kuey
- 1 big piece of salada biscuit
- 1 cup of cookie oreo bubble tea
- 1 piece of ham
- 1 piece of mini sausage
- dinner (rice with dishes) and bowl of soup
- fruits

fyp tomorrow. sigh. i dont have molly's log book to refer to. screwed i am.
and i think fyp's gonna end only at probably 4? guess dumbdumb wouldnt wanna go out with me either. sigh.

slept and woke up with very fast heartbeat again. super uncomfortable.
i just hope that knee of yours will listen to me and get better soon. ):

rj writing time. then log book time. urgh.

if you had to choose between family or love, which would you eventually pick? sigh. can i have both?

something someone said, broke my heart.
"oh, i thought he was your brother"
my heart stopped.
my face looked so sad the rest of the day.

why. why do these comments hurt.alot.

walked chinatown but no avail. ended up eating eggtarts together only. the 2 mahjong sets we saw cost $25-$30, and I know I can get one for less than $15, so i didnt buy any.

beauty for ashes says:
cheer up k, whats the most impt is that YOU and HIM are happy w each other. (;
beauty for ashes says:
other pple stinks

partnie's logic. haha. partnie. i just love you so much. your words never fail to cheer me up bit by bit whenever my mood hits pit bottom. thanks for the nice paint picture.

partnie didnt go training today. mel didnt go training today. madd didnt go training today. joreen said she wasnt going either (happen to see her so she told me), heard ah ma didnt go either, think i saw zhijun online too. wow. today coach must have had some nice romantic picnic with the rest. hahas. and training didnt really pass through my mind the whole while.

i have come to realize that as we grow older, the harder it is to be really happy. as kids, we are oblivion to the surroundings, thoroughly enjoying ourselves everyday. young adults should be like that too, but we're to be matured in thinking as well. darn it.

baby, thank you for the plaster and for coming to find me in school after your papers. i'll try to stay happy de. loves (:

the girl sits on the street,
covering her ears;
oblivion. bliss.
she smiled.
sweet serenity.

sad day. all my beloveds in my class never come. =(
mel feels lonely!
yikai, sherline, shaun. why you 3 never come on the same day. boohooo.
thank goodness i got my MAGICAL sophia aka ginny weasley for lunch.

meeting dumbdumb after school today. i wanna find my mini mahjong set.
hope the papers were a breeze for ya. score well! (:

zZz. @#$!*%#@

baby, jiayou for your english papers! (:
can get good grade de. can de. cause i've got magic! bless you. =)

well, maybe i just dont make a good friend. i'm blunt with words i guess.
i just spoke my mind about how i feel about certain stuffs pertaining to my life. but you see it as a form of mocking and became so upset. maybe. maybe i'm just not your type of friend. i've felt so deserted these past weeks. like i was some spare tyre to you. i'm changing so fast i dont even know who i really am anymore. but i have learnt to treasure the people who have never left me, in the times i needed them most. thank you for making me realize it.

darn. i'm feeling like i'm in the dumps again. mel stop emo-ing you dumbdumb! mel listen to yourself. so what if there are gossips going around that you wont last. though you feel really upset that people out there who are your friends, are betting how long you'd last, (and trust me. i hate it when people talk about me) its really how you feel that really matters.
sobs. why do i have to compromise with the world.
my parents.
my friends.
my siblings.
why.
its stressing me out.

mel just stop your crap. live life happily will ya.
gonna get some sleep.

if only. if only.

was pq-ing and doing quests with dumbdumb till 2.35am last night.
love it when i get his goodnight calls. lol.

went sinseh this morning cause my waist bones still hurt from 1-2 months back's training and its like i cant even sleep on my sides without it feeling weird or hurting. the sinseh woman was really nice laa, budden her rubbing strength.she rubbed the veins and nerves from my waist to my legs! and i didnt know it hurt so much and all the way till my legs! best. now i've got blue blacks. and she asked me to skip training for one week if not when i grow older i sure suffer. just as well. what perfect timing. liddat i'll get 1 week to reweigh my commitments.

then went home for awhile, and out for lunch at great world city. and the food junction's opened! I saw pepper lunch express in there *drools*, and the price seems much cheaper than the pepper lunch i see outside sia. And roti prata. And claypot rice. And and alot of yummy foods! =x

went to vivo city for dinner with my family, my gu po and gu gong from hongkong and ah ma.
so well, i sneaked out to get melbit a new rabbit drinking bottle and YES! to see more cute cute puppies! they are so cuteee! the toy poodle had his butt face me and shitted in front of me though. -_- but the white pomeranian and white toy poodle. so ke ai!! the white pomeranian was like barking and posing for the camera when she saw me approaching (reminded me of xiao ling's pocky =) ) and baby's favourite chihuahuas who were sleeping soundly. haha.








Found this candle holder really pretty and intriguing while i had dinner ytd. it mesmerized me. my sis loved it too. =)


dont try to dissuade me. when i feel that there's injustice towards something, I will make sure there's justice to it. maybe you dont feel it because you're not the one with the freaking same grade as someone who doesnt even bother to come for trainings, who's always late and well, its just THE bare minimum passing grade. I mean its not like i havent done my report properly, or put in the extra effort to come back on weekends at night to feed the crabs either. wadever laa. freaking RP new FYP system. use SAS as guinea pigs? and now refuse to review more cases?

mr. clumsy grassjelly soybean. i still remember that. lol (:

time for bed.
tomorrow shall be a better day.

p.s. PSP slim or DS lite? DS lite has Maplestory DS coming out! but PSP graphics better and can watch shows. anyway, considering it while saving up for it. haha

the warrior fights,
the warrior fought;
and fought he had with all to naught.
the warrior thought,
that perserverance bought,
recognition, glory, honor aboard,
but dismayed he was, he wasnt called
deep down inside, his prideful heart bawled.


baby, thank you for being there.
i will smile de. i will.
loves. (:

no more about vball. no more.
like sophia always say,
every 60 seconds of unhappiness, takes away 60 seconds for happiness
so why not just be happy?
its just that. sometimes. i feel i suck too much, that justice doesnt even come near. the absence, the presence. what difference does it make? i see no importance of presence or my willpower anymore.
aja aja; fightou fightou no more.
my heart broke. my willpower died.

went to wilson's house with dumbdumb today. haha. (madd madd dua us last min!)
this time we cooked papadam! ahaha. cause it was the easiest to cook and we were lazy (wilson cooked the curry chicken and chicken rice) =|
last time was an overnight mahjong session with wilson, madd, alex.
play like mad cause we got hooked to mahjong. i didnt know we actually need alot of brains to play mahjong. hahas.
Wong wong came over for the curry chicken too! so long never see her le. she asked me to help her says hi to everyone! got her greetings? (: anyways,
here's our papadam cooking session!

step 1: take out a piece of papadam and put it in hot oil, like this!

step 2: watch papadam bubble in the oil and expand until very very big! like this! =D

step 3: when papadam looks very big and uneven, take it out and put it on paper towel to drain out the oil. then tada! done! so easy right? haha. look! (before and after)


grandma made me nice wanton soup for dinner. wasnt there so mummy tar pau-ed for me. haha. yum yum! my lovely supper.


mel zi lian's. see my gu niang posture. =p


JUNGUANG AND FEL, THANK YOU FOR SUANING ME AH.
SWEET REVENGE AH. RAWR!!!
you 2 go busy with your tian tian mi mi laa! aiyoooo. =\

and baokun, how you know my full name! alamak. always randomly come and call me "primary school kid" and now you come and call out my full name on msn. oh my tian. this is scary. lol.

dearest, have a good day at school (:
mel can sleep in. muahaha.
and seeeee. i told ya the chain was gay. Lols!

Layer One: On the Outside]
Name: Melissa Ng
Birth Date: 9 January 1988
Current Status: Happy (:
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair Color: brown with lighter brown highlights
Righty or Lefty: lefty!


[Layer Two: On the Inside]
Your Heritage: heritage? a bit peranakan chinese?
Your Fear: ghosts, dark, cockroaches, loved ones dying! =(
Your Weakness: too cute. ehh, like abit bhb. lOl. =|
Your Perfect Pizza: huh. ham + cheese + bacon + terriyaki chicken + sliced mushroom

[Layer Three: Yesterday, Today , Tomorrow]
Your First Thought This Morning: Wake up. Time to go to school.Urgh. hate school
Your Last Thought Before Bedtime: To put it under my pillow (:
Your Most Missed Memories: Holidaying in Japan, Disneyland, hotsprings! cute stuffs!

[Layer Four: Your Pick]
Pepsi or Coke: NONE! i dont like super gasey drinks. sworn by iced tea.
McDonald or Burger King: McDonald fries, burger king's mushroom swiss single
Single or Group Dates: Huh. i think occasional group dates make things more fun.
Adidas or Nike: Adidas!!! (:
Tea or Nestea: HUH. whats the diff?? All seems like tea to me.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Ehh. white chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: I dont and cant drink coffee at all.

[Layer Five: Do You...]
Smoke: Yeps. In rp we smoke with our mouths. Everybody's smokin~!
Curse: hmm. the one i always curse and scold = dumbdumb. wahahaa
Take showers: AH BER.if not how come i smell good? =p
Have a crush: hmm. no ah. zhen yuan chang? mike he? lol.
Think you are in love: ^^V



[Layer Six: In the Past Month]
Drank alcohol: yea.
Gone to the mall: of course.
Been on stage: huh. i dunno leh.
Eaten sushi: aberden. sushi tei. my favourite =D
Dyed your hair: yeps. if not how did i get brown hair. ._.

[Layer Seven: Have You Ever...]
Played a stripping game: HUH!!
Changed who you were to fit in: Hmm. dont think so.

[Layer Eight: Age]
You are hoping to be married at the age of: 24-25?

[Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy]
Best Eye Color: blue
Best Hair Color: brown
Short Hair or Long Hair: Long hair

[Layer Ten: What Were You Doing]
1 Min Ago: Erm doing this?
1 Hour Ago: Erm, still doing this while in class? haha
4.5 Hours Ago: 12.08pm - 4.5 hrs = wah. how to count. 7.30am? Coming to school with (:
1 Month Ago: one month ago ah. happy one mth one day lo. Oh, =|
1 Year Ago: 1 yr -_- HOW I KNOW SIA.

[Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence]
I Love: the stars, cute stuffs, friends closest to me, havaianas, dumbdumb, mapling, walking on the streets during christmas(especially in winter countries), travelling overseas on winter holidays( i wanna go to hokkaido to see the music box museum)!, music box with nice classical music, snow globes, teddy bears (princess hours one. so cute), wishing wands. alot of stuffs. (:

[Layer Twelve: Tag five people]
1) YiKai
2) Mo gu!
3) partner!
4) Madd madd
5) Ah ma =p

thanks for the gift (:
will treasure it de.
and its yet another outing to the vivo sky garden. haha
very fun meh? lol.

963 took 1 hour plus to get to vivo as usual. sat until butt super painful laa. sat until some pig fell asleep. VERY ASLEEP. reach already also dunno. lol.

went to look at the puppies! they are like so damn cute laa!
the 2 baby chi hua huas and the shitzu were the cutest of the lot! and the mini shinauzer (dunno how to spell. too complicated) =D
and the baby ham hams...so ke ai!!!
thanks for reminding me that we were early enough to go to the pet shop today. haha

junguang! why tag me to do the quiz! ahhh! now 1.46am le. tmr then do. tmr then do.
yong jun, cheer up ok? take this one week to think things through bah. and nxt time can ask me go kbox with you le. only for crisis hor. ahaha.

and I finally got my first daily A grade! thanks haematology fac! ( i forgot her name =| ) =DDD
tmr shall get one from eng yong yong!! eng yong yong. watch out! =p

oops. i ran outta icing for my cupcakes..darn. how to offer to sophia they all tmr. left plain ones le =|

super hungry. i need to stop my lao sai after meals thingy le. sian. hungryyy! shall go to bed (remember to put it under my pillow). craving for nice honey glazed grilled chicken wings.

hope the few who received my cupcakes loved it! more importantly, hope your stomachs are feeling ok. hahas. (:

partnie found a cat, and i found an uncivillized old woman.
=\

went holidaying and visiting around the school with mo gu! (:
first stop, jan jan's class.
second stop, shuhui's class.
third stop, shirui's class.
fourth stop, xiaoling's class.
fifth stop, pantry outside xiaoling's class with zhijun, gill, mo gu and shirui. plus shu who came at the last minute. haha
sixth stop, molly and madd's class.
so fun! haha
i should do visitation more often.
hope you girls dont lao sai from my cupcakes!
i already wrote a disclaimer on it. lols. =|

i keep getting a stomachache after i eat anything laaaa.
so screwed. zzz
for so long already still liddat. arghh!

melly is bored in the library~~
sooo sooo bored.
my crunchyroll isnt loading.
dumbdumb's studying.
no nice music to listen to. Eeeeek!
someone's playing secret in the library =O!

reached school at 9am.
didnt realized there's lab.
didnt bring lab coat.
in shorts and slippers.
having another terrible stomachache.
giving someone a cold shoulder today for some broken promise.
cant get that incident outta my head.
having a terrible stomachache.
still have cupcakes to deliver.
feel like being left alone.

CAN MY DAY GET ANY WORSE.

dearest, happy 2nd. (:
made cupcakes for the first time! =D
see, i decorated them so sweetly right? ..but too bad. this box is for someone special =p
the remainder shall be given to people dearest to me, but only 1 each ah. =|
hahas.
DISCLAIMER: EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK. FIRST ATTEMPT. MIGHT LOOK PRETTY, BUT MIGHT NOT BE EDIBLE. lol.

and to you,
though hor though we always quarrel. thanks for being there. (:
loves.
(:

and to partnie, i think all your ham, bams, fishiewee and all are doing well in pet heaven. dont be upset kkies? (:

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHU! You're finally as old as me. haha. =D



the sun and the sunflower. (:

so tireddd..finally had some decent sleep for the first time this whole week.
finallly~

i realized some things are ebbing in my life but i cant pin point what are the things ebbing away. and i'm feeling so lost as well. hard as i try not to show it, i feel so lost as to what i am gonna do when i graduate, where i am heading in life, what do i really want in life and all. sigh )':

fyp. i hate fyp. i really really do. it took up the whole of my wednesday. and even when i had a terrible stomachache and a bout of diarrhoea, i still couldnt take a short rest and had to go about recording stuffs and washing stuffs and hanging stuffs which made me lose the mood to go anywhere because i was exhausted. so went to wilson's house nearby with madd and alex for mahjong and baking of cupcakes. ask him along but he didnt want to go.. its not like i really didnt want to go for a movie, i was really tired. i hope you understand. but i guess, its simply an empty promise to you.

i feel so exhausted that i am in my sobbing mode again. i think i am in my pms-ing today. everyone should just leave me alone. i keep thinking back about the past. about how some things might be different. that stare that spoke a thousand words in the canteen that day.

sheesh.

dearest, take care of your stomach bahs.

i need a gpa of 3.4 to qualify for any university overseas, much less singapore. 3.4..meaning which my gpa has to maintain this semester. sigh. i hope its possible. my grades..havent gotten a single A the whole 5 weeks. and my uts are worse. gmp was screwed up. feeling so lousy.

and people actually betted how long we'd last. wow. i've become a bet too. haha?
feeling so weird. shant blog anymore for today.

urgh. hate my rotten mood.

sorry dearest.
i'm so sorry.
i dont know what had gotten into me. shouldnt have been liddat.
sorry to have hurt you.
once again...

why am i blaming people for the things they cant change.
i should be blaming myself for things that I cant change instead.
a mindset is easier to change than that.
dumb me. its all my fault.

haematology ut was kinda a minor screw up too.
i seem to always screw up my own life. urgh.
i hate school.

what's gotten into me~!

i'm sucha freak. hate me.

you ROBBER!


hear me rawr! haha
quite somewhile since i last updated.
saw all the xiao yuan superstar kiddies having a gathering. my brother's favourite keely was there too. coolness.

went to walk walk and have dinner cause mum and dad had a wedding dinner today. muahaha.

esplanade. (:

and RAWR YOU. you cheater! rawr rawr rawr! =|

my maple hair...thanks to SOMEONE, changed to something that looked like seaweed. best ah. ahaha. thanks ar. so much for your lucky hands. lol. should have stucked with my caspia hair. =( LOOK! my SEAWEED! =|



look at the complete smiling idiot. <--my dearest dumbdumb big baby sia. ahahaha. (:

<3.

dear gillian, my condolences to your boyfriend's dad..girl, people come people go. feel blessed that you have memories of him to go on by and have had chances to know this great man while he was alive. cheer up soon okies. your boyfriend and his mum needs you. hugs.

and I ate a SANITARY PAD today! hahaha.
its actually candy.
shall upload a picture of it tomorrow.
cause my laptop's bluetooth has gone crazy again.

tried changing my hairstyle in maple with my sis and her friend today. and now i got caspia hairstyle from amoria. dang! -_- dearest came to grace the "event" and said that its nice though. haha. (: but her friend got a durian hair style. lols. my sis got angelica. darn! i want that!

feeling so tired. but left in a mood i cant sleep again.
missing dearest and yeah. no matter how much i hurt myself from volleyball again. i'm not gonna complain to him already. this sympathy thing seems to go nowhere. i dont wanna quit vball. i really dont.

saw Mark, TP no.11 after dinner at the train station. And Shu and Madd dua me! they say they'll wait for my train...end up when they saw mark boarding their departuring train, they ran for it and left me alone. thats what friends are for laaa. love u 2 so much. thanks ah. haha.

randoming trash @#$#^&^%$#@:
- i wanna bake cupcakes!
- i wanna see cute little puppies
- zambuk is my new found friend
- my hands are so rough, it feels like washing board and sandpaper
- i wanna see my pineapple alot ):

stoning already. i need my sleep no matter how much i cant. shall try to resolve issues tomorrow morning. goodnite.

never give up on the things that make you smile. (:
all the best for your UT tmr dearest. go go jiayou (:

went out with my family today.
finally lil sis has no more tuition at novena, so no more need to go velocity every sunday.
and lil bro had no activities on, so finally we all went out as a family.

started off with my cheesy fondue pizza at pizza hut marina square =D. but the cheese, was reallly reallly, seriously...too much. (and this comment comes from a cheese lover, mind you) =\ so its practically extremely cheesyfied.

then kbox! dad suggested it. but my mum looked pretty pissed off. and she didnt sing a song. my dad, lil sis and I practically sang our way through..and i went kbox-ing with a sore throat..so i sounded weird. hahas.
the whole time, was feeling a lil' down. or rather moody, so i sang those emo songs with lotsa emotion. ahahaa

ended the day with dinner at central. the ramen there is like...yummy. and went to azabu sabo for icecream, and saw xuanxuan there. thanks xuanxuan for the ice cream treat! (: anyway, the green tea ice cream was really good. i think i prefer the one at suntec though.
sat by the riverside and watched the night life in clarke quay, lights up and all. i just love lights, especially those lights on the streets during christmas, along with the christmas songs. my favourite festival.. =D

started to maple again. because my lil sis and her.."friend" started in cassopeia too. i wanna change my maple hair again! the new ones at amoria looks pretty nice =D
hmm. and i am happy dearest played with me laa. but i rather he studied for his test.
zzz. and i'm still a little annoyed. wanna make char siew outta that pig! rawr~

glad for my gor that he and his girlfriend are very happy together. hahaa. he's like totally obsessed with her laa. goodness. its great he doesnt know i have a blog. lol

ohmytian laa. 1.15am ler. sigh. ok, honestly, i'm feeling really tired. got training tomorrow somemore. gotta get to bed...signing off. (:

when mahjong seems to overweigh that one important thing to you.
hahaha.
i'm just being dumb.

forced to wake up after only 8 hours of sleep.
cause my air con broke down and the repair men came.
cant be appearing in the living room in my pyjamas.

i wanted to eat my aromatheraphy cheese fondue pizza at pizza hut today! but but...i had no time to. darn it. its only available till 19th oct laa. ):
nevermind. shall nag to go again tmr.

evening: had to go for my dad's company's bbq..honestly, i dont think i'm ever going to such gatherings again. I mean, i'm already so big?? Which 19 yr old daughter and whole family follows dad to a company's gathering. I felt like a freeloader sitting there and just being served all the bbq food. so i dragged my siblings to sit on a bench by the sea... so peaceful. we had a great chat there. about all the r/s stuffs and about different funny things that happened when we were younger. nostalgic.
the best part is mistaking the place of bbq, which made us walk 30 mins there, and then 30 mins back. and then we went for a drink at the BFD bar there, cause of my mum and bro, who wanted to watch the man-u match vs wigan on big screen there. i was having a good time listening to the live band instead. they were like..really good! like when they sang lips of an angel by extreme behaviour. (:

and my phone message came in, but from yong jun.
should have seen that crestfallen look on my face.
sometimes when girls say one thing like they dont care and ask you to go do your stuffs and all, they actually meant "well,surely you'll know how to reply admist it all". haha. guys, learn that please.

finding something interesting to do now...

craves:
- the cold rock creamery ice cream
- pretty cupcakes
- white chocolates
- my cheesy fondue pizza!
- for bu neng shuo de mi mi to play on my phone or twinkle twinkle.
- i wanna lose more weight~ =|

ok, i think i'm pms-ing.
think i shall go home now.
pissed.
so much for being nice.

oh no oh no
oh my tian oh my tian.
jiao lian suan-ed me.
AHHH!!

faints*

擅自组张的家伙!!!
you owe me one for that!! =|
now the whole world knows.
oh man. best ah you!! =x
jiao lian still: "还双左呢~"
faint laaa.
and the best part is, you answer liddat somemore, when you know...
faint
ok laa, you win for the last time hor! =|

jan jan had a happy cupcakes day. thanks to mo gu
the cupcake so pretty laa!
got pearl balls on it and heart shape. but hor, is the pearl edible? =|
but so cute!

ran my 2.4 warm up for gym in 13 mins! so proud laaaa. first time i ran 2 rounds without walking. lol. motivation for all you guys taking napfa later this month kkies! though i think i should be much slower =|

chao da pig, i'm learning kkies! (:
its just an extra step. =p

wah. 1.15am ler. i think i wont have enough sleep. boohooo.
gdnite!

and mo gu wore ORANGE today. HA HA. ^^

YAY! mel cooked lunch! (: nice nice? anyone hungry yet? ahahaa =p
too bad its not for you! lala.

ingredients inside:
-ham
-sausages
-egg
-pasta
-domino mushroom and herb pasta sauce
-parmaesan cheese =D

yumyum! to people in school, dont get hungry! hahahas. =x

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH MA!!! (:
so was i the last to wish you? hahas

had FYP at 9am in the morning. and best laa, i left house at 8am. reached school at 9.05am. first one from the team in school. best. but i slept all the way from jurong east to woodlands laa. was like...damn tired! finally finished fixing up the tanks! (:

had lots and lots of fun at sentosa siloso today (:
me, him, yong jun, wilson and wong played with TP's captain elaine and 4 other guys. got totally owned =| ok, at least we didnt lost too badly in the 2nd set. darn. so malu. havent been playing beach volleyball for a long long time.
madd was like lost out there suntanning. dunno where she went to laa. and tan come back, still WHITE. lol.

and so yeah, i took antacid tablet this morning so that my stomach wouldnt hurt after i eat. was like so determined not to let my stomach ruin my day. hahas.

had alot of fun with the 5 of them. So long nvr see wong ler! and yong jun and wilson became like so good friends they were laming along with wong, jumping and rolling into the sea. best sia. hahaa.
and we had so much fun throwing sand around and splashing water at one another. like little kids man. =p
then i missed out on a sand message someone wrote for me. not bad hor. i had him for a guardian angel while i slept on the sand under the shade. LOL.
stole my slippers to take pics somemore. and i didnt know. best leh.

contemplated to go for songs of the sea and luge ride today, but due to time constraints... aww man. nevermind. there's always next week (:
just pray hard no long hours of FYP. grr.

i put sunblock all over my body before heading out into the sun, but it was until i went to bathe, that i realized i forgot to put on the most important part, my face. win already. =p

and so we went for dinner at vivocity. and well. tried carls jr. but wth, they can happily said they ran out of mushrooms, fish and chicken.. LIKE WELL, THEY MIGHT AS WELL SAY THEY ONLY HAD BEEF LEFT?! then i wanted to eat Kim Gary, but there was a queue and its non halal. And danny couz saw me! and well well...he was with MELISSA. ahaha. i told that girl she has a nice name. and she said i had a nice one too. lol.
couz, jiayou wor! first you had a gf with my mum's name, now you're dating someone with my name. lol. not bad. =p come visit us soon.

and then we went to play cards at vivo's sky garden.
very nice view. i miss star cruise!
anyway, security walked past and then 3 policemen. wow. i had to hide all the cards under my fat thighs. lol.
then at 10.20pm, madd, wong and wilson found excuses to walk around vivo and darn it, they purposely left me and him behind to clear up some stuffs.well, had a good chat and all though. glad. (: but well, abandoning us for more than half an hour was too long dont you think!!!

anyway, mel's status is unknown again. wheee. what a confusing world. I'm just so apprehensive cause I'm just scared this is another vicious cycle. so well, taking things easy. if its meant, its meant. As long as we enjoy each other's company can le. hahas.

banged into the sky tram's window and onto a metal pole at the sky garden. everything to do with the sky. so unlucky!!

so damn sleepy. gonna get some sleep. meeting madd madd for lunch tomorrow i think. IF SHE CAN WAKE UP...HOR? rawr.
time to sleep.
oyasumi. (:

went home with dumbdumb today.
wanted to accompany him to eat, but was refused because my stomach keeps hurting after i eat something and because he decided to go for np's training.

i was all chatty and smiley and trying to be myself the whole way...
and kept nagging at him and disturbing him and bickering and all.
put on a happy front cause i wanted to see him smile as well.
and he looks cuter when he smiles.
and i'm happy just to bicker with him non stop.
haha. so near yet so far.
now i get the meaning of that phrase.

and fell asleep just now upon reaching home. think i msged something subconsciously. great..smart mel. you just ruined your cover. zzz.

not gonna get an A for today's class anyway. and the C i got last week was due to me playing in class and taking pictures of sleeping classmates and nothing else. my fault laa.

sentosa after fyp tmr. looking forward to it. looking forward to go roller blading with..

haha. i got a new nick today. emo queen. lol. i think i can star in some korean soap drama these couple of days. those every 15 mins of show cry one time de. lol.anyone needs a calafair in their korean show? =|

gotta go get my rj done.
thinking.

the end of the winding path.
lies a wall.
etched with memories.

no more worries about not getting to spend christmas in s'pore. i guess now i'm all set to go anywhere with my parents. even if it means coming back after christmas..even if it means going overseas for 2 whole weeks. it doesnt matter anymore. there's no one i feel like spending christmas with already. its gone.

when it hurts.
it really hurts.

i know i need to move on.
but somehow, you made it sound so easy.
things are always easier said than done.

i guess there's no point for me to hold on any longer either.
yan yan beginning.
yan yan ending.
beautiful collision.

madd says she misses the old me. the old me who used to challenge her to daily grades. the old me who used to laugh at everything and joke about every damn thing without always frowning or crying but the old me is like...hidden somewhere. she's lost. buried somewhere out there. i cant get her back so easily.

relationships are sweet yet miserable.
remind me never to get into one again.
just when i recovered from old hurt, i gotta get myself in this rubbish again.
how stupid of me.

and kelvin tan, thanks for the sound advice. thanks. this is the first time i really appreciate you for being my facilitator apart from your kaypo and mean style of teaching. i'll keep those words in mind.

i need more tissues. haahaaa.

i think i need sunglasses to school later. the hey gorgeous people will be all around school and they dont need an extra puffy panda to beautify the surroundings.
ha ha ha haaaaahahaa.
now i know what it feels like to be nuts. hahaa.

to you, thank you for everything. even giving me up was all for my sake.
i know we'll still be very good friends. bestfriends. but for now, lets take a long vacation off one another. maybe weeks later, we'd both go to school together again. just not now.
and dont ever think of quitting school k? its just another 1 year to go. perservere. 1 more year and you can go anywhere you like. jiayou.

"dear guardian angel, take me far far away~" away from everything.

i cant blog anymore.i need to sleep. my eyes feel like crap now. C.r.a.p.
ha hahahaa

bye smallerthanthree dumbdumb.

ok, i was telling myself. nah. he wouldnt wait for me to finish training cuz i ignored him the whole training cause i was still kinda pissed of. and he wasnt.
nah.he wont be at any of the fast food outlet at cwp waiting. and true enough, he wasnt.
and nah, he wouldnt be at woodlands mrt bench waiting either. and yup, he wasnt.
so when i told myself he might be at jurong east bench waiting, i was like. forget it. its IMPOSSIBLE. i laughed to myself. and well, i got so shocked seeing him with zhiping on the bench. i was like..hmmm..that brown and white shirt damn familiar..and i got stunned. best. first time i got so surprised.

budden, i dunno. i was happy but his face looked so strained, as though he was forced to wait there. sighh. i guess nothing ever makes me happy.
and best is, i passed smth of memorable value to him, and he didnt want it. i guess i was just being childish. its just wishing on my part. i shouldnt have.

thanks for waiting for me anyway. really.
(:

and today's fel's bday! and junguang had a bouquet of nine teddy bears delivered to her...fel's eyes were like all red when she collected them. lol. everyone who ate lunch together were like...awwwww. hahas.

shall go and bathe. feeling really stinky and achey now.

zzz.
what a day.
it just makes me even more confused.

its like, one day its fine
and another day its not.
and how am i supposed to react to it??

and my mood always changes along with it.
my daily grades are like dipping.
got a daily grade C just on the second week of school
from a fac that used to gimme only As' and B's somemore.
great.
really great.
my last semester in school and my grades just keep dipping.
i think i need to draw up a timetable for myself to strictly follow.
maybe that'll help.

another day in class. didnt really learn anything much.
or rather, i was in a slack mode again cause nothing gets in.

waiting for training time.
madd's not here today.
so lonely laa.
nevermind. mel survives as a loner! (:
mo gu offered to da fang with me today..so good luck me! hahaa.

sigh.

so tiredd..
cant sleep though.
why are you acting so weird suddenly?
whats wrong?
sighh.
and i cant help again.
hope you cheer up soon

facebook.
still dunno how to use it.
and wth. had some bad luck adding the wrong ass who ended up being some irritating #@$@%#^.
but mo gu taught me how to use fluff friends! and gosh. the pets are like cute laa. =) adopted a reindeer for myself. christmas spirit!

got training later. and i still cant sleep. guess i'll pretty much screw up for training ltr. urgh. dumb coffee icecream. shouldnt have eaten it.

bought my basic theory book! haha. i am so inspired to learn to drive, all thanks to zhijun. (though i'm really frightened about the thought of me driving on the road anyway)she drove us out of school after training on thursday..and i was like exclaiming along with madd "so cool laa!" and so... yes, mel wanna take driving! good luck to which ever instructor who lends me his car to practice. =|

here's something super yummy! apart from the coffee icecream which i didnt like due to its flavour..
try this muddy mud pie from the coffee club! (: (disclaimer: make sure you dont eat it alone...its impossible to finish =| )


gonna try to get some sleep by 1.30...though i think its like..totally impossible. urgh.
someone teach me how to fall asleep!! >.<"

*-Melissa Ng. :]
*-090188
*-Capricorn.
*-Republic poly-Biotechnology. Year 3.
*-standing at a mere 163 cm. :|

LOVES
*-winter holidays
*-teddies
*-romance
*-the one who can make me smile. :]
*-colors: green, pink, blue
*-pumps [:
*-watching stars by the beach
*-donuts!
*-pretty stuffs
*-music. its my life.
*-sweet memories
*-to be loved and to love
*-beach volleyball
*-those havaianas slippers
*-NUM wear
*-puppies
*-hamsters
*-ice-skatingg
*-pretty earrings

HATES
*-cockroaches! EWWW.
*-jerks
*-ghosts :|
*-being heartbroken
*-people who make me cry
*-cocky people
*-backstabbers.

WANTS
*-that YOU
*-everything for my family
*-everything for my friends
*-to stay happy everyday
*-to slim down
*-to be pampered

Madd
Rena
Janjan
Ah ma
Sissy donkey
mr.lion kai
felicia
Junguang
Sueann
Gillian
Shuhui
Jiehui
Jasmine

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(c)mel

June 2006
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As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You’re the only love I’ll need

In my life you’re all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You’re the one that’s there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I’d be lost and so confused
I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid
Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it’s just impossible
Because of you, it’s all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can’t imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
You’re love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard me calling
And you rush to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you
I can’t imagine me without you