x-SiMpLy IntOXiCateD-x

2009-02-15T12:44:00.000+08:00

Want one? Go to geocities.com/testiflash - Humor!

Happy Valentine's Day to all. hahaha (:

2009-01-05T22:37:00.002+08:00

hello everyone! hahas. i just realized that its been so long since i last bloogggeeedd.

i'm turning 21 man! old old old old old. urgh!
how time flies ah. i still rmb year 1 so clearly. secondary school days and primary school days as well...

and now everyone's all grown up and going their own way. overseas to study. work first for experience. part time studies. even my brother's going into army soon. and dar as well. ahhh. =(

and then i see all my guy classmates sporting 2 by 1 haircuts at felicia's chalet and sueann's party. hilarious! hahaha. =x

and kelvin tan our dear faci is really getting married after his emo episode the last time. to his 10 year girlfriend. and he keeps bragging about it to practically everyone with his facebook anyway. lol. congrats (:

scarly it'll be fel and junguang's or sueann and shawn's or even sherline and her new muthu bf soon. LOL. =p

its the year 2009. i hope everyone has a wonderful year ahead. may everything go smoothly for all (:

i still miss volleyball. but i know my fitness level is so shitified now. i cant even climb stairs with panting. sobs. =(

oh well. and dar you better not fall sick again ler ok. =( lousy la your system. =p

things dar promised to do with me: (now you cannot run away! muahaha)
- go prawning!
- go flyer!
- go pubbing!

haha. i only named 3 so far ah...very soon i'll name alot more. hurmph! =D

2008-10-31T21:55:00.002+08:00

Darling. thank you for caring for me so much. love you. (:

have been having fever since the whole day at work ytd...but survived and worked till 730pm, and went home only to find out i had a fever of 38.5. thanks to dar too anyway. lol. =\ and my throat kinda hurt so ended up at the doc..but medicine worked miraculously and now i'm left at 37 degrees and a milder throat. =D

baby hammies have started to open their eyes! (: yay yay yay. so cuteeeeeeeeeeee.
hopefully they grow and live to their full age even though they lost their mum at 7 days old...will post their pictures soon.

dar get well soon. i already getting well u still sick ah. tsk tsk.

missing volleyball...melly's growing fat =(

2008-10-19T11:52:00.002+08:00

dearest melbit 09/01/2007-18/10/2008

To my dearest melbit, rest in peace.
mummy, little sis and I love you and miss you lots.

melbit has passed away early this morning. i woke up to find my mum crying in front of me..saying she didnt make it through the night. we found melbit having diarrhoea and becoming inactive late last night, wanted to bring her to the vet early this morning but she didnt make it through... i'm such a lousy owner. ='(

i cant believe she's dead. i just keep crying. i walk past her cage and there's no more jumpy melbit anticipating me with those innocent eyes anymore. its just a lame lonely empty cage...i'm so so upset i just cant stop crying.

just sent her body to mount pleasant's to be cremated. she nvr got a chance to finish the new snacks i recently bought for her. ='(

i miss melbit so. melbit rest in peace in animal heaven...

this is the first time i've felt so much sorrow in my entire life, even when grandpa died, i didnt cry this much...i mean, melbit was like my dog, my joy. and now she's gone...and so quickly.

in memory of melbit, i've included a picture of her when she just came to my house. as a little bunny...

on the other hand, dar's and my supposedly "2 female hamsters" had 4 babies ytd morning. i know i should be happy, but i just cant be happy now. not when i'm crying. not when melbit...
i just hope the hamham babies survive. i dont think i can deal with anymore of this.
i dont think i can.

stop crying mel. melbit doesnt like you like this..

2008-10-16T23:59:00.002+08:00

it has been 1 month and 1 week since i last blogged...
sometimes i just dont feel like expressing how i feel. and these days, its getting more of that way. I just dont feel like expressing myself to the people i love already.. i guess thats cause i'm just one confused soul.
Up till now, after working a month and a half in BEA, i still havent decided about my future route of studies, and i'm not even confident about other aspects of my life. i'm so screwed up. and its not like i can express it when i'm so confused myself, and there's no one who understands. so thus, no one i can really pour my whole confusion and heart out to.. hahas.

life's been passing so quickly at work. not because i enjoy it, but because at the end of the day, i'm just too tired to do anything else. even going out with dar only lessens my fatigue a little. nvm. mel jy. 1.5 months more. u can come out with smth..gulps.

i miss school days. i so do.
i need a lighthouse to guide my course of route in this darkness.
who knows how i am feeling inside? some bloody confused soul ever since i stepped out of rp.

my family's not doing real well too. yeah, we're happy together. but parents lost quite a huge sum of money to the plunging stock market..and its really alot. i dun even know what i can do as their daughter.

everyone must hate reading my sad blog. its either complains or rantings and sadness. sorry peeps. its so diff from the girl you see on the outside isnt it?

oh well, dear classmates who just got into the last army intake, jiayous. hahas.
come back for the next class gathering with lotsa muscles. =)
the whole fel's bday chalet was fun, though real short and with one exception of the hOrrendOus smell contributed periodically by Sueann's Shaun. lol.
fel stay happy!
you gotta meet me up for dinner one day..cuz my house just opposite PSB.. (:

looking forward to lunches with sii every friday! haha. sii! shopping! when is our after work shopping date! =p

signing off.

2008-09-08T23:49:00.002+08:00

as words fail. your heart fails to hear.

just to silently watch you from the sidelines; your guardian angel.

2008-09-08T22:35:00.002+08:00

it suddenly dawn on me, that love just ain't enough.

the sky's shedding tears; so is my heart. its been crying but it cant be heard.

here's the movie you wanted to watch. i found the full movie link for you.
http://www.crunchyroll.com/group/CRSeries_-_4bia_-_Movie

i miss jan jan and rena and molly and liyi so.

2008-07-10T23:38:00.002+08:00

happy birthday dar! (:
happy happy birthday.
the chocolate rockcake i baked. the bb wallet. the candle. sparklers. macs.
i hope it was enjoyable even though u're down. hope i took away those troubles for that couple of hours. it was nice to see you smile again.. (:
happy last 15 mins of your birthday.

macs has limited edition coke glass cups for beijing olympics! i want the vball one!

drew a mind map of the possible routes i can take for studies today afternoon. and it made things a little clearer..though still really ambiguous. haha.

2008-07-10T01:02:00.002+08:00

happy birthday dar.

..though this perfect bday i wanted you to have is pretty much ruined despite my efforts... hahaaaa. i cant help but feel disappointed actually. that even though i'm born with 2 ears to listen, its useless because its not wanted..
i guess i can only just be there for you if you need me. if you even need me at all.
haha. why do i feel so redundant. like a white elephant waiting to be discarded.

partnie, mo gu, i realize i miss you 2 so much! =(
i'm glad i was there at tp and got to chat and catch up with you guys. such a nostalgic feeling.

partnie, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going...i remember u once said that janis is a fighter! so partnie jy. its the last straw~~ the last leg already.. just survive through it okay? its gonna be alright. i'll try to be there as often k? =)

xiao mo gu, i can see that you're pretty stressed out too...you enjoy the game but its just a different enjoyment as a whole nowadays...miss u so much laa. =( it was great to watch u ping pang the court again. haha. and with your RED nails! lol. And dont feel helpless with regards to your friend ok. i'm sure she knows u care (thats why you bother) much deep down. i know she does. =) jy with your 3 matches mo gu! mo gu fight fight! sleep early everyday ah if not no energy hor (:

ah ma, you've been down and out recently too..and you hurt your ankle today..i hope it gets better soon. you better see a sinseh or smth ah! ah ma must take care! if not sun nu also sad. =( jyjy ah ma. be a fighter too.

xl and sii, nice catching up with you girls too...

i realized everyone has chosen their own paths to take when i chatted with xl. zj, gill and her are all in globalSIM RMIT/UOL... if only i applied in time. sigh. what shld i do! uni of buffalo business admin? SIM visual comm with business? or wait one year and then work and try to apply again nxt year? =( i'm so lost. so so lost... who can help enlighten me?

and goodluck to junguang, shaun, kc, yenkai who are all reporting to army in these 2 days (can see the dates from your msn nicks). LOL. happy botak-ing! enjoy. haha.

2008-07-08T23:42:00.002+08:00

you broke my heart with lies.
and all i feel like is avoiding you now.

candles, scrapbook, cake, gift. why did i even bother going to that extend for someone who lied to me time and again. i feel so foolish now.

i need self time out. substitution please. someone please substitute me. this game is getting too tiring for me.

2008-07-08T01:06:00.002+08:00

and the question boils down to...
PASSION or the MONEY.
I really love medical science, but, the pay really sucks and the job promotion status is like practically...zero? i mean what, from a haematologist to a senior haematologist? lol. I love blood science but can passion really fill my stomach in the future?
I also like Banking, but have no idea what the job entails. just that my parents are/used to be working in the banks and i've seen their interesting job scope..and hey, it pays even better than having a specialized degree in science.
so what should i do?
Go with my passion and end up miserable cause i might not be able to have the lifestyle i want, or go with something that can make me happy and give me the lifestyle i want but at the same time regret not pursuing my interest in medical science?
lols. This is such a confusing issue to me.

Counting down: 2 days.
i hope you'll have the bestest day ever.

AND I SAW XIAO MO GU on tv tdy! I was like wondering during the starting song of the Beach.Ball.Babes when I will see Kaixuann like in the episode laa. and who knew! she was the first person to be featured in the show! lols. The serving one from V Rockets. so cool. =p
anyway, the libero of the G-force team...doesnt know how to act..its abit...erm. And Jade Seah..doesnt look hot in there either.. O_o
But Dawn Yeo's quite hot. haha. oh well.
wonder which other volleyballers are in the show. Gill shld be the substitution for joanne peh honestly...they look alike from the back! =\
the show made me miss vball sooo much. especially when i see them feature RP vball court. BOOHOO. i miss the court! i miss the game! i miss jan jan, mo gu, ah ma! ='( gill, zj, mols, sii!
i even miss francis jiao lian can. haha.

starting to plan the next route of my life...i know whichever route i choose will affect my life, so i have to think carefully..sigh.

shall go sleep le.

my baking failed tdy. gonna do another one tmr...sighhhhhhhhhh!

and well..i ended my phone conversation with you today.
i guess i dont really like this barrier in between us..if you understand what i mean. every barrier is something that hinders us. and well..it makes me feel like i'm such a burden to you in terms of that..if there's this kinda barrier, when can we be open? if only you understand and not judge me. if pride is to come within a r/s, then the r/s isnt deem to last because there wont be honesty, but hostility.

last note & most important note:

MO GU, JAN JAN, AH MA, SHU JIAYOU FOR POL-ITE KK! WIN NYP ON WEDNESDAY! =D RP ACE!!
hope to cheer you girls on =) moral support! haha.

guys team too! hope u guys achieve smth this year with the new team! =)

2008-06-20T16:33:00.002+08:00

they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
but why does mine feel this way?

- grandma had a minor stroke of the throat so now she's speaking a little weird and her mouth is a little slurred. but thank God it wasnt anything serious.

- grandpa has alzheimer's. he forgot how to wear his pants and bathed 3 times consecutively ytd.

- it takes 2 hands to clap, but all i know is that i am trying my best to clap, but the other hand just isnt there.

- when things are done too often, its often taken for granted and thus out of sight. Is that why you dont know of the things i've done?

- just what have i done wrong?

- application still pending. time to think of other plans.

- i miss vball.

- i miss everything that i used to have in rp.

it feels lonely & depressing. urgh.

2008-06-08T15:56:00.002+08:00

just wanna thank you for being there for me all the time, coffeemaker. (:

whatever will be will be..
too lazy to blog.

didnt hit any tennis balls out of tha court tdy.. lol. achievement!

time to sleep.

hyourinhime is 54! anyone playing eridanus?

2008-05-25T01:00:00.003+08:00

think it has been a really really long time since i blogged.
got another 2 major rejection letters today. haha.SIM and NUS. two at one go.. i thought i could get in SIM, but well..i submitted too late. saw the wrong dateline. hahas.

left with SMU...

Talked to molly over the phone for an hr plus tdy. both fretting. no idea what to do. heard my dad's been asking her about aussie and expressing to her that he'd like me to go too, just that i keep refusing.

what if..what if smu doesnt accept me too? what am i supposed to do? am i suppose to really go overseas? ='(
molly's basically freaking out too.. but its just so saddening. so so saddening.
i've people i dont wanna leave behind in singapore. home. family. him. friends.
what if i really gotta go? i'm not being fair! ='( i shall be a meanie from today.

tennis lessons start at 9am tmr. see how many balls i'll hit out of court (over the fence i mean..not even within the in lines. haha)

as for now. dont think. dont think.
whatever will be...will be.
sigh.

i'm really super upset now. super duper major. i just didnt show that side of me to my parents when they see me open the letters. hahaha. and now i've to pretend i'm not affected the least bit in front of everyone...geez. this is hard.

the tears flow when i'm alone in bed at night. stress.sadness. urgh. this sux. what a horrible transition in life.
i'm such a happy girl. i'm happy. i'm happy.

no mood to change font color. monotone.

2008-05-09T23:00:00.002+08:00

Got my very first rejection letter today.
From NTU. sigh
guess i'm just not good enough.
RP seemed to be a wrong choice for me cause I'm not exactly vocal and my participation depends on my mood. But I dont regret it because of all the friends I made in RP. The volleyball team, w35L, E37H..all my wonderful classmates and you.
So now its One down, Two to go.
Should start planning what I wanna do if I dont get in. hahas.
Will i really go to SIM if they accept me?
Is that what I really want?
Sighs.

Got a glitz merit award. LOL. Thanks whoever who nominated me. =)

One down. Two to go. hahahahaaaaa.

2008-05-01T23:30:00.002+08:00

Been too lazy to update recently, but life's been pretty good.
Counting the fact that I have nice colleagues and its 15 more days to my last day at work and i got my first pay!
Fishing, Sentosa, Escape Theme Park Go Carts, Cadbury Inverter, Rainbow, Roll-to-win games with you made my days more enjoyable.
The only thing is that I am so tired due to the lack of sleep.

Spent the day catching up on Bleach again. I like the anime loads! =)

Still fretting over the letters that havent arrived..starting to give up hope alrdy. hahas. Do i really have no choice but to go to that uni? =( Should I try again nxt year and this time apply in advance for others? sigh.

Anyway, enough said. Depressing. Whats more depressing is that Brooke got outed before Jason Castro in American Idol. Boo. -____-"

On a last note, my colleague introduced this website to me.. www.ja333.com
It sells some pretty nice clothes at cheap prices! Do check it out girls. (:

Will do a photo update when i'm free from work. 15 more days 15 more days. lalala.
honestly, this has been the longest i've ever worked. >_<

missing janjan, rena, mols and you. =(
sigh. why why why.

2008-04-06T15:23:00.005+08:00

been so tired these 2 weeks.
so so tired ='(
i guess i finally learnt to appreciate schooling life more. But now i dont even know if i can get into one of the local unis of my choice..sigh. why couldnt i been smarter.

lots of things happened at work. but i'm glad all of my colleagues are nice, and about 7/10 of us are from girls school! haha. quite havoc sometimes.
guess i dont really like to work in the HR department. To me, its similar to the service industry whereby people/customers come first. We gotta put up with their black faces and attitudes which makes you.. URGH. feel like killing them sometimes.
like why go through all that trouble just for them and then they dont appreciate it. oh well.

anyway, my cubicle!

i swear i just feel like kicking and swearing at the computer everyday. my goodness. the speed it takes to like..startup..is maybe 15 mins?! And then when i do my stuffs halfway, it just HANGS. oh well, but i'm glad i painted my own desktop wallpaper for it. At least it cheers me up. haha.

and then i freaked out with the binding/punching machine. I got the whole thing jammed..and well, pretty much got "tsk" by the cleaning auntie in the morning. And look at the mess. it was snowing at my seat. ><"

and ai caught this micky for me on monday ^^ a new friend for my teddy again!

okays. suffering from headaches and cramps. shant say more.
off to catch up with lost sleep.
and its back to work again tmr ='(

2008-03-26T01:14:00.006+08:00

my feet hurts my feet hurts my feet hurts!!!
stupid heels! i have to say i've never hated heels so much in my life, until the day i have to wear it continuously. urgh! i've got blisters and more blisters. ='(

started work at maybank centre yesterday. Being a temp in their HR department. the people there are an interesting and fun bunch honestly. An intern from SP is one of them. All cute and funny people. haha. But i just gotta speak up a little more though. Still kinda shy because well, its only my 2nd day of work. Having to drag myself out of bed every morning and dress to go to work (Wearing my bloody heels) is really a chore.

SMU interview. sigh. i think i flopped it. Not gonna hope for any letter from them no more. =( so sadded. and no news from either of the other 2. so i am a gone case i guess. I need to pray hard i can get in one. =(

My bestie wrote me a letter today. so nice =). attended a makeup course together with her. man, thos bobbi brown people made us feel like princesses. lols.
hope everything goes well for her. shall reply her letter tmr. time to catch up on sleep!

Went out with ai yesterday and today. hahaha. and well, we tried catching teddy bears and all, but NO LUCK. geez. waste money only. but we had fun anyway. ^^
suddenly i realized i've been too harsh on him sometimes. after starting work, it dawned on me how tiring it actually is..should stop scolding him for falling asleep before calling.. ><

ok. photos! shall upload some. and then i really cmi already. gotta sleep. dont want bigger panda eyes for my graduation day. =\

anyway, everyone play isketch.net! its fun. lol. he hasnt won me. lalala.

Auntie Mel in Working Clothes! =(

My desk! Why i have a laptop and desktop is another long story...Grr.

I caught a teddy for my lil eugg! lol.

My makeup course..everything's pink. =D

What do you do with the veggies you dont like? Play with them, like i did =x

2008-03-16T21:59:00.003+08:00

went for Bobbi Brown's make up course with my primary school bestie today. had lotsa fun and i finally know how to put on make-up! =D though i still think eyeshadow and eyeliner totally sucks and will never wear it. it doesnt even look good on me. i'll stick to plain blusher and gloss and lipstick and eye concealer.

went sentosa on friday! we explored sentosa. LOL. ok, and we watched a horror show too. lame show can. thank god it wasnt so scary. and fiona xie basically acted as an ashtray at the end. -_-

photos with ai's new phone =)
alot of me laa. lol.

and if anyone has a job lobang of 2 months doing data entry or customer service (except telemarketing), please contact me ok.

signing off.

ps. I saw sueann today! =D

2008-03-13T18:13:00.002+08:00

and its only through all these obstacles and incidents, that people learn to treasure each other alot more =)

ai, misses.
i hope i get to see you tomorrow *fingers crossed*

i think i did something stupid while i was half asleep this morning. lOl.
and i turned down maybank's job offer..cuz i dont think i'll be able to commit for 5 mths. i just hope, pray hard with fingers crossed, that they dont mind me working 4 mths and call me back. I DONT want them to call. i rather find a 3 mths data entry job. >_< i just dont wanna enter workforce yet.

posted my results to SMU today. fingers crossed* pray hardddd harddd.
hope to get an interview.

ai's gonna ot again. oh man.

2008-03-10T22:51:00.002+08:00

and damn it.
what have i done again.
sometimes i do things to the point with my heart controlling me head, no longer my head controlling my heart. is that good?
i'm just scared this whole vicious cycle will go round again.
for now, lets try it out.

walking in the rain at west coast park.
trust me, policemen are so inconsiderate nowadays, and SO TERRIBLY BLOODY RUDE la, especially one with leslie lee on his nametag. i am gonna call police post. I was crying while eug was consoling me and then the policemen demanded for our ICs laa! IS IT EVEN LEGAL?! they were so bloody rude and talked alot of nonsense la. damnit. they look more like con-men to me. con-men, WITH GUNS. darn. shitt. if they send me a letter on some dunno wad lame violation or whatever, i'll be dead. -_-" they used a lame excuse such as "heard mas selemat in this area, and scared you youths will be one of his victims..." like WTH! all thanks to police that he's gone in the first place can! urgh. lameness. i doubt he's still in singapore laa purleaseee.

off to shower. cmi. got caught in the rain.
thanks for attempting to keep me away from the rain. =(
sigh. what am i doing.

2008-03-10T04:08:00.002+08:00

4.10am..and i still cant sleep.
hahaha. lousy.
eyes so painful they feel like they're popping out.

Shirayuuki. that should be where i put my misery into.
4.13am.
haha.

tomorrow dunnit to cook 'nice' food le...
stone.
4.14am.

time to really try and get some sleep.
urgh. wanna pluck my eyeballs and nose out.
haha.
4.15am.
gdnite.

2008-03-10T01:28:00.002+08:00

and everything ended.
i'm sorry i cant take it anymore.
i really tried. i just cant take it anymore.
i cannot take not being able to meet my guy friends one on one le.
its like, my friends ask me out, purely as friends, and i'm not trusted to go out with them, when all i have is staying at home to play maple.. i really going crazy le.
i cant build your trust in me these 7 and a half months. i've tried but i couldnt.
i only see you once a week, sometimes once in two weeks because you're working..i feel so lonely alone and i cant go out with my friends..i feel so trapped. i feel so alone. all i have are smses to entertain me..even our phone calls..end in quarrels.
i'm sorry.
i guess we're both tired.
i guess maybe its better for us this way.
this way i wont restrict your life, and you wont restrict mine.
i know you care for me. i know you love me.
but your love's getting too suffocating.
i'm sorry dear, i'm sorry eugene.
thank you for everything.

hope you find someone less monstrous than me. or at least one who has only girl friends so that you dont even need to doubt her..and one that knows when to joke with you, or when to not. your miss right.
thank you.
goodbye.

my eyeballs look like deep red colored cheeries.
now i really look like a monster. got a shock when i stared in the mirror. wahahahaha.
wahahahaaaaaaa.

2008-03-09T16:52:00.002+08:00

its like..so near yet so far. on the same guild list, yet not speaking.
having a phone, but not texting.
only 9 numbers away, but yet so hard to key in.

man, pathetic. who cries while hitting mobs. pathetic. and then get her fame dropped by some passerby who just cant stand her character look?
hahaha. this doesnt get worse.

anyway, still wanna say this, HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY PARTNIE, YOU OLD WOMAN. OLD ALREADY. haha. may all your wishes come true.

hate it when i feel pathetic.
stand firm. stand tall.
be brave. stand alone.

gonna pick up guitar, no matter how stupid an idea it is to some.

2008-03-07T00:05:00.005+08:00

went to catch a movie with my mum today.
ITS DAMN NICE! well, at least i loved it.
man, Jonathan Rhys Meyers is sooooo cute in the show. and the way he sang...so enchanting awww.
You all gotta catch August Rush. The little boy's so cute too~~
I wish i am just as talented. *envy*

then cause esprit was having sales, and the fact that all my jeans have gotten kinda loose for me, my mum got me a new pair of jeans and a shirt (: yippee. here are my new clothes (:

jonathan rhy meyers' hot =X

2008-03-05T23:12:00.002+08:00

sounds childish...but i wish...i could marry in maple, like it shows even in games i mean the most, and i can do that pq! sigh. dream laa. dream so long le. its stupid.

anyway, recruit express called me back today! =) they offered me this bank loan admin job at textile centre (should be either UOB or maybank) that pays $6/hr, not a lot, but still reasonable. And guess what, someone distracted me, and i didnt hear the work days nor leaves nor duration. and i agreed. all cause i heard its in a bank. omg.

maples getting on my nerves. urgh.
dont feel like blogging anymore. back to bleach.

2008-03-03T23:12:00.002+08:00

a hilarious picture of mas selamat bin kastari that partnie sent to me. however, i find this even more detailed than the ones the policemen provided, at least these show him in different outfits and hairstyles. hahaa. oh well.

i feel like a worm rotting at home today. and i just keep eating and eating. omg laa. something's wrong with me. i feel so sad by a couple of words someone said to me awhile ago. am i so monstrous? am i that avoidable? i dunno. but those words made me feel i'm not really wanted. or only desired when in the best of moods. hahahaa. wow. such words do hurt. ahaha.

not desired to the fact that i am not wanted online either. urgh. and then i'll be described as unfeeling again. haha. wadever laa. dont want then dont want laa. why am i emo-ing. stupid mel.

go alone. do everything alone. thats a good motto to follow from now on.
and carry a smile even if it hurts.
partnie, mo gu, sii...enjoy your trip. (:

2008-03-02T00:13:00.010+08:00

Rena AFTER!

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY LAO TAI PO RENA SIM KAI XUAN!!!
hahaha.
like the gift from me and molly? wahaha. but honestly, i was like so paiseh when u took it all out for others to see. but i can tell u totally loved the jay chou kung fu dunk picture book..so, have fun drooling over him tonite! hahas.
eh, you didnt treat us to dinner afterall lo, so well, does that mean me and jan can post your 'very special' dressed up photo now? =p
anyway, gonna post your really NICE picture below. =p
LAO TAI PO, WELCOME TO MY 20 CLUB. heh.
next up, JANIS LEONG who was late for us for 1 hour today. ho ho.
anyway, we had lotsa fun putting some 'make-up' for mo gu today, and i gave her all the mo gu related stuffs! canned mushroom, campbell mushroom soup, and oyster mushroom chips in a dustbin. Lol~ i think she was stunned laa. hahahaa.
janis, beware ah. hahaha.
it will be
WITH LOTSA LOVE, MEL & MOLS.

went to boys home and old folks home with dad this morning, with a slight flu. urgh. anyway, didnt quite like it. would have preferred going to an orphanage because i click better with little kids.haha. anyways, PHOTOS!

Rena's slice of cake. (NOTE: mel was already starring at the chocolate syrup and winking at molly and jan jan. HURHUR) =p
this was Rena BEFORE. For After, refer to photo right on top. see jan and mols, i told ya we'll make good makeup artists. hahas =|

my good friend of the day. hahas. thanks sweets =)

2008-02-28T21:19:00.004+08:00

went east coast yesterday and today. haha. sunshine girl! now chao da le. =|

went east coast with baby ytd. but before that, i tried cooking something different. creamy chicken baked rice! =) it turned out it wasnt salty enough laa.. so bland. should marinate the chicken first. anyway, for anyone who wanna try it out, here's the link:
http://happyhomebaking.blogspot.com/2007/10/baked-rice.html

then we headed for east coast (bedok jetty) to fish. BUT RIGHT, thanks to the damn aunties working at the MRT control stations at tiong bahru and eunos and tanah merah, they totally made us feel like idiots. we went around and around and they kept telling us there's no way to bedok jetty from there. end up there were. -_-" and they we cabbed to the wrong side of east coast park.damn!
so rented bicycles and cycled there. by then, i was in a pretty bad mood. $!#%$!@#$.
then took out our fishing rods and lines, and wheeeee. we caught 27 fishes! tamban and 4 other kinds we dunno. but all pretty small though. hehe. =x Even the lines could catch fishes! =D eug's prawns attracted all the fishes laa.
here's our catch!

urgh. my laptop's bluetooth went haywired again. darn it. will upload the rest another day.

and went east coast today with molly and yongjun to cycle and then roller blade and saw madd and wilson! they went fishing there. haha. by the longkang laa. =|
now my back hurts terribly. down with roller blading~! it sucks big time. urghhhhh.

heard about the head terrorist that escaped from detention barracks today. does this signify that there is a possibility that it could be an insider's help? that someone in the force might be one of them? now my brother's school is so well guarded. and i bet the airport will be too. such incidents inject fear into everyone's blood. its like everyone is worrying endlessly for their loved ones and for their own safety. i hope he gets caught soon, but it seems highly impossible considering the fact that he has been on the run for more than 24hrs. he could be far away from the barracks already, and maybe even in malaysia already, for all we know.
Ous Singapore Armed Forces, jiayou bah.

baby thanks for the handphone chain. love the stars. =) and lol. for the hello kitty sweets. hahaa. =)

till then,
gonna rest my back and play maple and go for interviews with molly tmr. mel shall go and work! ho ho ho.

2008-02-24T23:47:00.002+08:00

my 2 favourite songs of the moment:

你最近还好吗-from 斗牛要不要! =D

挑一张耶诞卡写上满满祝福的话
地址写的是心底你能不能收到它
天有点冷风有点大城市宁静而喧哗
这一个冬天我得一个人走回家

问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜褃回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达
旧情人给的问候比陌生人还尴尬
昨天远了明天还长回忆模糊但巨大
这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下

问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜褃回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出

你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

____________________________________________

不想懂得- from 公主小妹! =D

当世界不知不觉的变了
有时候我怀念以前的我
作的梦虽然远远的
想像是一种快乐

拥有了同时也失去什黱
而眷恋原来会带来软弱
你让我在雾里成熟心开始曲折

我不想舍得不想懂得
是谁惹谁言不由衷
说谎伤害都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什黱

我不想舍得不想懂得
谁说割爱才更深刻
彼此依赖是爱不是负荷
能握著手就是感动的

when things are up to mark.. my gpa sucks. and if i cant get into any of the 3 good local universities, (which i doubt i will get in anyway..) my dad's gonna do something to me. sigh. throw me overseas? i think he rather throw me overseas then lemme enter SIM which i rather enter. sigh. i dont wanna think. i dont wanna think. why am i such a lousy student. why cant i be the smarter few and get a gpa of 3.8? sigh.
this stinks. do i get a chance to start afresh in terms of acad?
its like ever since my O'lvls, i've been going downhill..i'm like never proud of the schools i go to. sigh.
#$!%$&%$! hope life gets better soon. dont wanna rot le.

missing everyone alot alot alot.
and him. neh neh. =(

2008-02-23T01:46:00.010+08:00

baby skipped work just to accompany me today. so touched. haha. naughty naughty.
happy 6th. how time flies (: though we always quarrel, i'm glad to just have you by my side.

first ate lunch at my house(yeah, i cooked udon with fishballs, egg tofu and preserved veggies. and he got bored of it ='( will try something different next time)
then we were out to explore the new kallang leisure park! but honestly, it was practically a ghost town there laa. there's hardly anyone! but but! there is an ice skating rink (i still think fuji ice palace nicer), an arcade (i won him at basketball and bishi bashi!! hehe), a bowling alley (where we played 2 games and i scored the lowest score ever, cuz i had to use house ball and shoes. urgh!), and then there's a donut shop (dont try the oreo donut. its MESSY and too sweet. ask him. i rubbed off all the chocolate on my hands onto his. HAHA.) and there's this taiwan snow ice shop! wheehee! my milk ice! =D shared one mango milk ice. yum yum!~ and then that's practically about kallang leisure park.
my horrid boring lunch. lol.

then took bus 16 all the way, cause we didnt know where to go. ended up at bukit merah bus int. oh man. so took bus 176(cant rmb) =| to west coast park, sat there chit chat, ate fries, watch sun setting, talked about fishing and my dreams.haha. and then i suggested going to play the rope climbing and crossing the planks at the kids playground. lol. =x and so we climbed..and there was this IRRITATING KID. stupid kid kept yelling non-stop "HAHA. I WIN. U LOSE. I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD. U LOSE! LOUSY. SO SLOW" at me. wth. this kid is honestly the most "I SERIOUSLY WANNA BASH HIM UP" kid i've ever seen so far. whats his prob laa. i climb slowly my problem right. urgh.
but it was so fun to challenge baby at the playground. we might seem childish at first, but alot of couples followed us afterwhich. LOl. =|

mr. incredible bolster, thanks for the wonderful time today. (:
and it's probably another week before i get to see you. =(

next thursday, date with my darling molly girlfriend! =D

photo updates:
last weeks dinner treat from grandma (who won some money in 4D) haha.
baby cousin and my mischief =x
playing tic tac toe with our leftover veggies >.<
making happy face with leftover veggies (my plate)
baby cousin's plate. lol.
angry face (my plate)
baby cousin's angry face. haha. it looks more like some distorted monster to me =|
end of our mischief =p
and finally, ang pao counting! woohoo. this year's feng shou was great! but of course, i banked all the money into my bank account =(
look at my angpaos! =)

tired. signing off. happy 6th +1day. lol. i wish we can always be this happy. =)

2008-02-21T00:11:00.002+08:00

went fishing at labrador park with madd madd today.

got her a fishing rod as a bday gift. hahaa. and boy, did we have a hard time trying to fix the bait onto the rod -_-" pricked my finger with the hook and bled. so did madd. haha. so lame. end up one nice man helped us fix.

saw junguang and fel at harborfront! (: and junguang always like to bully pple HOR.

fishing is relaxing at night, but afternoon fishing sucks big time man. chao da le laaa. however night fishing gives me the chills. keep sneeeeezing. urgh. and one stupid fish ate 7 of my baits PLUS hooks and 1 of my weights today. how on earth man.

since mentioning is not appreciated or rather appreciated in the wrong way, no mentioning shall be done. if its not positive that its mentioned here to show its place in my heart, then let it not be here at all.

at the limit of accepting it.

snowglobes have become my favourite thing of the moment. after watching korean drama 'my girl', i like snowglobes even more! =D its like within its glass ball lies its perfect world, snowing beautifully as a pretty melody plays and it lights up too...so nice. darn.

my results...sucked. i dropped below 3.4 le. haha. so sad. i dunnit to go local university le. if my dad doesnt approve of me going SIM, i am gonna be an overseas student ='( rahh!!! if only i had some talent. sigh. if only i had more brains.

i had enough of fishing for the week. too tired. and it needs so much patience and perseverance under the sun that i was halfway to going crazy.plus all the poor fingers that bled and the sudden rain and the heat that gives people a headache, urghh. next stop, bedok jetty with an umbrella. haha.

dont feel so good. i am tired but i am so agitated i cant sleep. urghhhh!~~!!~@~!$*@#%*^%

imagine myself in a snowglobe, with falling snow and warmth. that'll be bliss.

quote of the day: Catfish loves mac donalds burger too.

2008-02-17T02:12:00.002+08:00

watched kung fu dunk. it was so unrealistic it should have been titled kung fu dung instead. urghh.
but oh well, achieved my main purpose of being miss nurse. haha.
my primary school best friend came over to my house to bake ytd =) so fun laa. except that i touched the 180 degrees celsius hot tray cause i was like..distracted. -_-" clumsy me as usual. heng no boils. thanks to someone's burn cream.
anyway, missing my darlings so! madd is so jealous i never call her darling, so she's my darling too. and molly girlfriend, and jan jan and rena dearies!
caught chingay today. the fireworks nice, but alot of the falling particles got into my eyes laa! and firecrackers were so noisy. but oh well, it wasnt too bad. i got to sit around many cute little kids. so ke ai laa. one even wore cute rat ears.

omg. 2.15am.
gotta wake up for tennis and gym at 9am tmr..gtg!

2008-02-14T22:15:00.002+08:00

break it. time and again. you win you know?
its the first attached vday i'm having and its also the first in 3 years that i dine
out with my parents instead.
so isnt it a fact that when i am single,i'm unavailable on vday because i am out with my friends. whereas today when i'm attached, all i am is stuck at home, waiting for yr msg which signalled that u dont wanna go out? so isnt that attached but available?
and the first time my present lies 'un-given' on the table.
how many more times do you have to say all those mean stuff?
how many?
till my eyeballs drop out issit?

SATs. i did more than the ave, but only a little more. whats the use. i cant get the 1900 points i want. i only got 1639.

i feel like shitt now.
honestly, vday cant get any worse.
thanks to the people who attempted to cheer me up.

thanks peeps.
and grats buddy, for passing yr final theory.

2008-02-13T20:47:00.002+08:00

urgh. freaking block nose and ulcer. -_-"
its getting on my nerves that i cant breathe properly because of block nose since 2 days back or even move my mouth much because of my stupid ulcer.

i feel like i'm knowing you lesser and lesser.
i feel like i'm on my own.
SATs results are coming out tmr. betcha u didnt know.
how much do we still know each other?

my smses. i mean, even if a person was sick, no matter what they wouldnt let their other half worry right? but to not reply 3 consecutive msges..how many times do you want to do this to me? how many??

everyone. watch dou niu yao bu yao. its a really nice show laa. watch until i cried at one part. so saddening! =(

i should stop relying on others.
i feel so lousy. not being able to take this minute amount of stress alone.
i should stop depending on others.
its time to grow up.

learning to stand on my own 2 feet.

2008-02-12T00:32:00.000+08:00

happy birthday mummy. (:
11th feb, my mum's 47th birthday. I think she feels pretty old herself.
met up with my brother at taka to get a gift for her. Ended up getting her an adidas shirt and a huge teddy bear (its undeniable that girls of all ages love teddies, especially big ones laa. can show off mah. LOL. =x )
anyway, my brother kept asking me about valentine day's gift. and he kept asking me how much would a bouquet of flowers cost, and when i told him $80-$90 for 10 roses, he totally freaked out. (I think he's thinking of getting it for a girl. I WONDER WHO. i'm so curious laa. my brother actually has a girl he admires? =O he's normal! lol!)
then i went to get all some things for baby for vday along the way, and taught my brother what idea vday gifts for girls are (chocolate and roses are SO NOT included, plus the fact the price of roses this week is totally exhorbitant!!!).lol.
i think the bestest gift i ever heard so far is that box of stuff elwin gave xiao eeling mummy back in my yr 1. i think that was so sweet. It included all the stuffs she needed in daily life, which showed how much he understood about her life and what she needed... that's my way of doing things too. lol. i dont think gifts should be about the money all the time. though i agree sometimes buying small things end up accumulating to more ='(!

mel is officially pok eye le. =(((

even though he's been evil to me for the past 3 days, i'll forgive him this once. And only once! if he's evil to me again, he's gonna get his dessert. hur hur. i really mean it this time. its cause baby's fallen sick that i'm worried, if not i wont be nice le. hurmph. get well soon ok. lousy leh. always fall sick =(.

been losing weight because of the undue stress i keep feeling from having to move on in life to another phrase. the applying uni phrase and looking for part time job phrase is driving me nuts le. urgh. not bad, i will be reaching my ideal weight of 45kg soon. 0.8kg more to go. lols. =D but not feeling well too. =( that feeling sux.

i'm so bored i keep going online and finding madd madd to talk to. and boy, do we talk nonsense. LOL. hor madd? spouting nonsense is our forte. =|

worried for myself. worried for him. worried for her. worried for everyone. alamak. *faints*

here are some photo updates from november till now. lols

Republic Leg Race =D

my favourite class! =D

Siblings new year day 1! =)

see no evil, hear no evil, smell no evil. haha.

peng chai!

a really really cute dog! =)

to do list:
- learn basic makeup
- get better dress sense
- apply uni
- find part time job
- finish my taiwan dramas! =D

signing off. =)

2008-02-10T13:10:00.000+08:00

chalet rawked. it was so fun. people organize another one soon ok? =) highlight of the chalet, YQ and Yikai kissed on the lips! LOL. (so did sueann and I and sijia and sophia, but thats not the highlight.) =| ALL MISS FRY FRY BEE HOON WITH EGG SUEANN's FAULT! Rawr! =x

4th day of new year.
and i'm already feeling like bored shitt.
alone at home with my parents.
both my siblings have a life and have all gone out with friends
what more, my sis's going iceskating. damnit. i so wanna go.

the past 3 day's been kinda shitified for me.
firstly, being overthrown by mahjong sessions instead,
that somebody didnt bother replying for 6 hours? or even a whole day.
and only calling at the end of the day as though i'm the last thing on that someone's mind. or just the boring lullaby that someone needs to fall asleep.
i felt more like single than attached honestly.
maybe its just me who dont get it.

tomorrow's my mum's bday, wanted to go out get her present, but looks like i'm going alone. any takers? maybe i should just meet my brother and go out after his school. if not i wont have any face going for her bday dinner.

when i get concern for someone, the person has to get on my nerves. i'm concern, i scold and he will just say something like there's nobody to feed him. what am i supposed to do? after not speaking to someone or seeing someone for a week, say everything mushy?

looks like my life's just gonna get busier. gonna find a part time job and hopefully feel less alone. and to gain new experience at the same time.
no one understands.

sorry i rejected yr mahjong session tdy wilson. i'm just not in the right mood to mahjong now or travel to woodlands.

maybe whats been so mind boggling lately is that i havent had enough sleep, havent made my applications to uni (and everyone just keeps asking me what are my plans and which uni am i gonna be able to enter when i went to bai nian. EVERYONE. The house i visited yesterday, which was like 3 storeys high and had a swimming pool and garden and roof garden--> their sons were like...one in army, came out of intergrated programme. The other a commando, who went NUS engineering, then realized he didnt like it and then went NTU to do accounting. HOW is it that they get into any uni they want so easily? sigh.I feel like some severely rotten apple. I used to be one of the smarter few, supposed to have a bright future and now i'm just freaking lousy i cant even get into local uni. i've ruined my life.)

but i guess everyone has their own things to deal with now.
madd, i hope you're feeling better with all the things that have been going on at your side lately. if u need me tell me ok?

someone please put a smile on my face.
i really need some smiles now and i believe madd does too.

for now, its just me and the computer, and my favourtie teddy bear. hahaha.
self entertainment in process.

2008-01-31T21:54:00.000+08:00

thanks alien, the one who tagged on my tagboard. haha.

but i've taken the 26th jan SAT already, and regretting so much that i didnt have time to study. might be thinking of resitting it. the stress, the horror, of seeing everyone from rjc, and all the other top schools scribbling away while i stare blank at a couple of questions which i know i will be able to do if i had time to even do the mathematical questions on my SAT assesment book. and for once, i was a loner there. everyone had their group of friends taking the SATs together, and i had no one. it felt so lonely there and then. I know i should learn to be independent, so i tried acting confident, for naught. i think my fear was plastered all over my face; it fooled no one la. hahaha.

forget about the scandalous post, too lazy to write and upload pictures. =|

how time flies.
tomorrow will be the last day of school for me and plenty of my friends. Even though i hated the way RP functions, PBL style --> totally NOT beneficial for a person like me who opens my mouth only when i'm in the mood, i've come to realize i'll actually miss this place loads. I feel more bonded here than in my secondary school particularly because of the group of friends i have made throughout these 3 years. my vball girls, my W35L class which i've nvr forgotten (it was so much fun), my E37H aka W56L class..all these friends made my life in RP an enjoyable one. =) thanks peeps.

ok, no more emo, no more emo. time to panic and weigh my options. what should i do? continue in science but switch to biomedical sciences? or give it up and go for business which looks equally tempting to me?

sigh. i know how much those people in dramas hate it when their lives have been carefully planned out for them from they day they were born, but sometimes, i wish i were in their shoes. I'm one who wouldnt mind going with the flow, as long as it makes sense of course. It'll give us lesser worries, lesser white hair lo!

as for you and me,
its give and take. i dunno how much we can give in to each other, but as for the time being, i'll try to give in more. ha. now that i'm graduating, our schedules might be different. and i know how even a short period of absence from one another might kill things (seeing how we ALWAYS quarrel after 2-3 days of absence) lols. so lets go with the flow. whatever will be will be ok?

tmr shall be a happy last day of school~ to everyone who's graduating, i hope you guys and girls will find something you love, something you have the passion for, and go for it. goodluck ppl (:

i wanna lose more weight! =| i know my goal is 45kg..but thats still about 1.5kg away. >_<

2008-01-24T12:29:00.000+08:00

i didnt pick up his call.

i just wanna be alone for the moment. sry.

last ut le. i should be studying but i dont have the mood to study.
my dad consulted his lecturer friend ytd, and she said anyone having a gpa below 3.5, wouldnt stand a chance against SMU, so where am i supposed to go then? if only FYP didnt screw my grades bad, if only that didnt make my life topsy turvy.
what am i supposed to do now? dad doesnt approve of me going into SIM. he wants me overseas. 3 years overseas. studying business. alone. anyone up for it? i think i'll go crazy there, like honestly.
who can hear me out? i feel so lost.
he cant hear me out, he'll only ask me not to think, but i cant not think anymore. its a week till i graduate. thats why i feel so lost i cant even pick up his calls. i dunno what to say.

i hate changes. i so do. i feel so lost. why does everyone know what they wanna do alrdy?

went out to chinatown with baby to buy new year stuffs for my house, ended up only buying a mini basket for oranges. lol. the crowd gave me a headache.
and then we had porridge. (he claims its the best porridge, wait till i make him try tiong bahru's!) and there was this weird raw fish with lime thing...which he made me try. but i think i still prefer salmon with soya sauce & wasabi anytime. =|

then night time went out with my mum and sis to fareast square. bought shoes! =D
here are my lovely shoes.

next post: a scandalous one.
till then, xoxo, gossip girls. ha.

2008-01-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

WTF.

so much for trust.
heart cant take it anymore.

on an ending note,
shocking news of the day: RENA PAINTED HER NAILS (GLITTER!). =O

2008-01-18T23:44:00.001+08:00

havent been feeling well recently.

never in tip top condition. especially at night. i always feel breathless at night laa. and recently i just keep getting skip beats and heart palpitations again. darn it. when will i be able to get rid of this stupid problem of mine.
i cant get overly excited or happy or it will just hit me. sigh. feel miserable.

things to constantly worry about and fret over never ends.
university admissions
growing up
getting white hair
skip beats

stupid painful gigantic ulcer in my mouth. refusing to disappear and growing bigger and more painful each day. even with tlc watermelon powder (it hurts so bad everytime i put it on my ulcer!)

whats next. sigh.

maybe you're right. maybe i'm useless. rendered useless. why.

p.s. mo gu, i thought of what to get you for your birthday le. *winks* =)

2008-01-16T00:27:00.001+08:00

ok. so whats this all about again.
the ropes are tightening around me and all i can do is flutter my wings in hope it loosens and hurt less.
painted pictures in my mind gets blown away by the strong winds one after another.
my dreams get dashed.
to up my hopes i dare not.

i hate this helpless feeling.
it just makes me wanna shut every damn thing out.

and i know i wont hear it tonight.
i need to breathe.

sometimes all these incidents and words said just leave me feeling the song lyrics:
"你想要的我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的"

it sets me thinking: is that really the case? were things set to be doomed from the start like the song mentioned? upsetted.

these days my moods fluctuate like the roller coasters controlled by you. i can easily say its topsy turvy now.

when things i do, never get appreciated. its like doing something again and again without achieving your aim.
and when the doubts never end.

the message of playing maple with me tonight was one just to dash another of my painted pictures, isnt it.
man, i need to stop believing in every single thing i do. too keep from feeling disappointed time and again, isnt it.

vicks and watermelon powder are my best companions for tonight.

damnnit. you stupid ulcer. i wish i could magick you away. it hurts alot alot!! ='( ahhh. someone just chop it off. zzz.

2008-01-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

baby made me so touched today.
surprised me by running to the opposite chinese medicinal shop to get me watermelon powder for my hurting sore throat and ulcer after his ut.

thanks. (:

partnie and rena! thanks for your belated birthday present! i love it alot. a perlini star shaped pendant. its really nice. i shall wear it very often. because it'll remind me of you 2.. =) and btw, wah lao! who is the sleeping dinosaur! spank you 2's butts ah!

today was a really relaxing day. GMP was a breeze. played asshole dai dee with 7 other classmates today. so fun laa. it was fun to rotate being king and queen and asshole. lol.

Had dinner with the rest of the team for one last time as a team before we graduate i think.
so saddening laaa. i feel like the bonds we've are gonna be broken by time. ='( and much as i dont want it to happen. i'm afraid its a fact that unless there's time, we'll seldom have time for each other anymore. so saddening.

my ulcer hurts bad. =(
my throat's following up after the fries and fish and chips... nehneh ='(

thanks for the volleyball shirt everyone! love it! =)
and for the really touching clip. heng i told myself i cannot cry beforehand le. i knew something liddat was gonna come up. haha. =| ='( i ren so hard laaa. aiyoyo.

2008-01-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

a song sings a thousand words.
to me, you're so near yet so far.

whats in store for me after i graduate? its time to sit and think it through.
hitting 20 had a huge impact on me, to tell me its time to grow up and not live in self-denial. i feel like i'm in a transition to the "welcome reality, goodbye fairytale" world.

to strive for what i wanna achieve.
what do i wanna achieve?

spiltting headache;
who's there to care.
or hear me out.

looking at the stars in the night sky tonite.

2008-01-11T00:06:00.000+08:00

birds eventually leave the nest;
leaves eventually fall from trees.

these 3 years have been the most enjoyable time of my life, being close with my 2nd family, my RP volleyball girls team. though we come from different walks of life, and live different lifestyles, the bond we share in court and during trainings; irreplaceable.

These few years, I've gained alot from volleyball.

From year 1, the girl who knew nothing about volleyball, being introduced to volleyball during a sports camp with the volleyball guys team back then. The girl who has matured so much from back then. The girl who never understood what it meant by "team". Back then, i was only 17.

Those days in tanglin, were the most memorable. seeing sii, madd, xiaoling, gillian and zhijun and I fight together and promising each other one night in the middle of the court, that we'll never leave RP volleyball team and continue to fight one. And girls, we did it. We've fought the 3 years long battle, hand in hand. The small gym back then, the corridors we lian qiu at when it rained, C10-our 2nd home, our volleyball camps; (calling phloy in the middle of the night to ask her if she wanted pizza. haha.), rolling about the concrete floor to jie qiu, gillian banging the pole and crying about having a dented eyebrow, meiwei made to act girly by baokun, water bottles tied to my hands to set...i'll always remember these good times we had.

Then baokun left us crying at the back of TP sports complex like we did today, because he couldnt coach us anymore.
And today, 2 years later, we are left crying at the back of TP sports complex again, because its time that we have to leave RP volleyball girls team. Leaving behind close friends that have fought with us these 2 years. Rena xiao mo gu, Janis partnie, Shuhui, Shirui ah ma, continue to fight on with the RP spirit ok? Jiayou. RP ace.

This last match was the most enjoyable. It felt so good to fight alongside you guys. The spirit, the morale, the team bonding...was simply heartwarming. thanks to everyone who has made my life in RP so enjoyable, especially my vball girls.

Xiao Mo Gu, though it may be tough sometimes, dont give up on volleyball ok? I've seen your smiles while you played in court, and really, volleyball makes you smile loads too. haha. though it might be tough somtimes, and really trying to get that motivation..but nevertheless, vball makes you feel like home. it makes you smile. never give up on the things that make you smile alright?

Partnie, its been really fun to da fang with you these 2 years. ever since jiao lian paired us up to da fang during hmm..i cant remember when. lol. you've been the joy of mine in volleyball. Your cute ways in court are always so enjoyable to watch. hahaha =x you were my motivation to go for trainings these 2 years. Thanks for cheering me on when i needed it the most. partnie, thanks for the memories (: you too, jiayou alrights?

ah ma, its been tough on you to take on the position of captain because you're less outspoken than zhijun or gillian. but ah ma, give it your best shot alrights? you can de. just be a little more daring and scold when you need to and of course, must be nice also ah! thank you for your support in court today. ah ma held my hand and said to me, "i'll be your support" when i told her i was scared and was trembling in court. lol. anyways, gong he ace! haha. (:

madd, sii, hazel, gillian, zhijun and xiaoling, thank you for all the memories and for fighting together as well. the memories from tanglin campus (except hazel), you all have witness how much the team has matured these 3 years. and to see them improve so much; from one who cant spike, cant even jie first ball properly; a team who used to get trashed badly, to one who can win matches. everyone has matured so much. Hazel ah, thanks for being such a "hot, friendly and nice" person these 2 years too. hahahaha. =x

from the past till now:

where it all started;

the first IVP, the memorable back of TP sports complex. lol.

some of the teammates;

then year 2,

No matter how things change, memories remain. thanks everyone.

shitt. i still got fyp to complete by tonight. and its already 1.23am and i am still blogging. woohoo. i am in trouble. no sleep for me then.

can you listen to my heart? its raining in there;

2008-01-06T13:30:00.000+08:00

and again and again and again. so he did follow me to sim lim afterall, lol. ilmdzz (:

RP girls won SIM 3-0! yippee~~
next up. RP against NP. abit worried though. NP led ahead of TP by winning the first 2 sets at the start of yesterday's match. But TP eventually won by claiming the next 3 sets. but the fight was so close, so exciting!
Not sure if RP girls will be able to win NP tomorrow though...their fang shou and spiking really good. but girls, jiayou! there's still a chance we can win! =))

went for chalet after thursday's match. had a really fun time but gained really obvious eyebags anyway. won $10.60 from mahjong! =x
and we went to wild wild wet. hehe. and then i had lots of twister fries! =)
and got to meet wong wong. its been a really long time since i've seen her.
all in all, chalet was really relaxing, though i didnt get to sleep much -_-".
Madd saw Junguang and Felicia there having chalet.just 2 people in one chalet.so romantic hor! hur hur. LOL. =p

guys match wasnt really nice to watch laa. so sad can. TP trashed RP like 7-25,5-25,4-25. it was relatively painful to watch. it didnt help that they had so little members present...work is an excuse not to go for match??? what is the world coming to. guys jiayou tmr. win nyp.

here are some pictures we some of us took after chalet.

sparklers at fullerton! wheeeee =D

2008-01-03T12:07:00.000+08:00

when every minute feels like an hour.

is my attitude really that horrible?
am i some cocky bitch who doesnt ever accept anyone's critic about me?
am i that terrible??!?

ha ha ha.
maria.
when one gets treated like a maria, its time to let go.
that irritated tone just gets me all upset.

i shall learn to be independent on my own.
i will.
sim lim square. maybe i think its freaky to get lost while trying to find my way there, but yeah, shant complain anymore. will try it out alone.
go go mel. u're a survivor. u need no one.

from now on, i shall never voice out my insecurities again.
you'll never hear from me again.

everyone, goodluck for your ivp match today. i dunno why i am in, maybe just as a lesson for those who dont come for trainings, not anything else, but since i'm in, i'll be cheering the team on.

2007-12-29T01:22:00.000+08:00

been a really really long time since i blogged ah.
so many things happened.
but most of them enjoyable (:
trip to turkey with family was memorable because of the difference in lifestyle and food culture (EVERYDAY EAT TOMATO AND CUCUMBER AND MEAT!) and their chicken tastes like lamb T_T
and then i miraculously got into the team...just when i have already given up. i hope i can find myself back in time again.
and this means...i'll be on the bench watching vball on my bday again this year..kinda sad actually. its not everyday i turn the big 2. 20. and to spend it in a school, in front of a match..again.. ='( feel so shattered. sighh.
made new friends in the guild in maple today. (:
she sparked me to blog again today. cuz asking about my blog made me realized i havent blogged in awhile >< . haha.

thanks zhu zhu for the 10 rainbow cranes with lame messages and lovely bells ^^. not bad ah, for once i realize you're so creative. lOl. =p
and thanks for your christmas present too. i hope you liked mine too ^^
goodluck for yr FTT tmr. jiayou alrights?

and my arcade bball challenge with zhu zhu = 2:0 I win i win!!! ho ho ho! =)

thanks partnie and kor for the lovely cards too.
back to maple ^^

i got my ds lite! finally.but i forgot to buy memory card.zzzz T_T
shall post turkey pictures soon ^^

2007-12-12T23:21:00.001+08:00

piggy surprised me today (:
thanks! i love it alot alot! and the cake towel too. hahaa
named teddy little eug. hahaha. =x

anyway, had another great day out with ya piggy (:
gonna miss u loads.

havent gone training for 1 and a half weeks le. ahahas. i better go tmr. partner sad already.

26th ah. our date. lol.

yay. think i already sorta know what to give special pple for xmas. ^^

off to play my snowcakes again. rice cookie collecting time! =)

hungryyyy. oh my goodness. no more eating mel.

2007-12-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

piggy, xie xie ni (:
had so much fun with you today.
thank you for accompanying me the whole day. (:

even though it was just 4 hours. but i really havent enjoyed myself with you in a long time. had fun playing guessing numbers with shaker fries with you. and had fun running all over the place just to find iron ons for my horrible completely brown lugguage.

thank you for not complaining like a pig. hahaha.

xie xie ni. i feel so loved and cared for. =)

gonna miss you the 10 days i'd be away.

urgh. need to stop deviating...study ut ah mel! you cannot afford to get any more C+!!! chiong ar! fighto fighto fighto! =(

the iron ons i finally found. it was no easy feat i tell ya. that was the last store we were heading to to try our luck. =|

a relatively meaningful teddy iron on to me. haha ^_^

2007-12-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

一起长大的约定　
那样清晰　打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行　
是你如今　唯一坚持的任性...

first time i understood why it was written somewhere.

8 days till turkey.
i heard the temperature's now 6-8 degrees celsius. should be 3-5 degrees by next week.
8 days, then 10 days there. will be back on xmas day.
and its like...
before that
our schedules all clash.
suan le.
dont meet maybe better.
18 days lo. ha.
its totally shows whats fated, whats not.

goodluck for your match later.
afterall it better be worth everything you've put in.
the time and all.
goodluck.

the days when your friend treats you like a sparetyre, are days which feel the most rotten honestly. like you're not being treasured as a friend. and just that when that friend gets a better offer, she'll just forget you and throw you aside again. whats new.

today's ut was pretty much a goner for me again. sigh. how many more of rotten grades am i gonna get. 5 more weeks. if i dont buck up and pull my grades up, i'm going nowhere. i dun wanna go aussie. i dont wanna leave my family and some pig and good friends behind. i dont wanna go with melbit here too. what should i do.

hematology lab was easy as usual again. just that wearing non-waterproof shoes and jeans doesnt help when it rains and i gotta walk. The school's practically some flooding ground, a mini wade pool.

2007-12-02T22:37:00.000+08:00

who made me smile early in the morning and made me happy today? (=
who made me sad and disappointed in the afternoon? =(
all the same person. arghh!!
happy sad. aww man.

WHY. i have 4 tickets. and when i first got the tickets, the first person i thought of is you laa. So i called and asked, but was rejected. i need to give the other 2 tickets away too wad. and obviously to people closer to me? WHY! i dun wanna ask already. its like. my well intentions...all not appreciated. sigh.

so went to the tour briefing at 3pm today. and well, the person basically told me everything NOT nice about turkey instead. Something like, bring your own kettle, cause their hotel kettles are kinda rusty. Dont go out at night, you'll get robbed or tricked into bars. The coffee and tea over there are tasteless. The tap water is not really drinkable. The plane will stop over in dubai (thats middle east. O M G la). And then there's nothing much to shop there, except carpets and leather and wallets (who wants carpets for xmas?) haha. How about the turkish sweets? (Its damn damn sweet. tried and verified before) Then reinstating the fact that there might be motorcycles that just drive pass and rob me of my belongings. The fact to bring po chai pills in case i am not used to the food there.. SO Oh my tian la!

The plus point is the weather. 0-12 degrees i think. sure freeze. and might snow! =D
i love winter. winter rawks. just that i look fat dressed in so many layers of winter clothes man.

and i finally got a christmas tree. i love x'mas. =)
the spirit of xmas~~~the warmth =D

and molly and i got a free num tank top today! haha. we went to the Aids Walk, and collected our shirt, then nvr go walk =| darn. should have gone though. I didnt know we'll get M.A.C sunglasses and goodie bags.

time to go bathe.stinky.

2007-11-30T00:04:00.000+08:00

maybe. just maybe its for the best?
till we're sure.
i'll always be there. (:

my christmas wishlist! :
1) play with whistling sparklers at night by the beach
2) to see snow
3) for everyone to wear that reindeer hairband and walk arnd together. haha
4) a huge huggable cute looking teddy bear
5) those snowglobes that look so magically enchanting
6) star necklace
7) for everyone to be happy and healthy (:
8) nice new bag thats not auntie (thanks ah coach)

i'll add more when i think of it..

in the meanwhile. goodnite!
nite sweetie. hahaha.

2007-11-28T01:19:00.000+08:00

kept dozing off in class today,
but kept awake because eng yong yong's was so near to me!
went to school earlier today to stop getting C's, so i went to kop yikai's table or so he calls feng shui wei. =| hopefully i can get a better grade today bah. sigh.
I need the grades.
My dad came to talk to me today regarding overseas universities again.
I cant handle some stuffs anymore.
Its like one part of my life is functioning this way, the other part is functioning another way.
junguang says i look super stone and sian and tired in class nowadays. darn it. whats wrong with me. where's bubbly mel!!!

went out with baby today.
molly walked with us to mrt station.
then pasar malam! bought my keropok tasting thingy...but. it created this really horrid smell in my bag sia. shitts. it stank my jacket and charger and everything. urgh.
then walked from HMV to That CD shop in paragon then to Takashimaya and then to Wisma Atria.
reminisced the first time we walked that path down orchard. actually it didnt even cross my mind until he mentioned it. haha. =x the only difference is that its filled with christmas lights now.
were being childish throwing popcorn chicken into each other's cups too. (yeah. my leftovers) haha.

alot of things happened the past week. yeah. including breaking and a good crying session and now i dunno what status. haha. this is really madness.

bought my first 2 sundresses as well as a pair of shorts from pull and bear at vivo on sunday! =D

(Ignore the mess behind >.<)

Instead of ruldolph the red nose reindeer, here comes melly the swollen eyed reindeer. =( haha.

2007-11-24T00:38:00.000+08:00

dang. madd and molly got me hooked to this personality quiz thingy. its like scarily accurate!!! see some of the results i got.
Here is the analysis:

Based on colors, i filled in the people i thought of into various colored boxes and the conclusion is:
The one who will never forget you is rena.
The one who you can consider as your real friend is madeline.
The one you really love is eugene.
This may be your soulmate: hazel.
The one you will remember for the rest of your life is janis.

about my personality:

Here is the analysis:
1.You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

2.You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

3.You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

4.Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

5.Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

You'll drop everything to be with the partner of your dreams, and you'll give their sentimental presents rather than expensive ones. Nevertheless, your spontaneous nature does have a limit, and when the romance is over, you'll head back to work to pick up the pieces

YOUR LOVE
Are you a very confused person?
Sometimes you like to be left alone.
Sometimes you want to be loved.
Sometimes you need him or her.
Sometimes you don't.
Does it sound familiar?

lol. all like quite scarily true. and i dont know how to say it. but its like... OMG.

ok. i'm just occupying myself here. and appearing offline at the same time so that someone doesnt need to avoid me and come online for one minute then appear offline.
i'll appear offline. you dont need to.

gonna get back to some reading to occupy myself.

2007-11-23T22:15:00.000+08:00

enchanted.
really fairytale laa. even more fairy tale than starsdust. i preferred stardust though, because its more 'realistic'.

thanks madd, for pei-ing me and cheering me up.
its been a long time since we 2 had a girls night out.

your silence. tells me everything.
like how much i'm being appreciated at all.

mel, stop computer gaming. get back to your life.
get back to the books you've left untouched for so long.
get back to drawing and playing the piano.

no more frying morning pancakes. gee. i still stink. time to get a bath.

5 facts I learned today:
- Mo gu loves shitake mushrooms
- enchanted is a lame show yet everyone likes it because its fairytale
- love hurts
- never put too much pepper into my creamy chicken or my stomach suffers
- sometimes, to tell yourself not to think, makes you think more. thats why enemies usually end up falling in love with each other. haha. cliche'

2007-11-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

please be back home safely. ='(
i wish i was at the reservoir too.
i wish i could really teleport anywhere i like, so that i could be there.

havent been doing anything right today.
first, went out with a mismatch of clothes.
next, played maple alone and stoned and almost died thrice.
thirdly, scolded my sister for saying she doesnt like him and say its my choice, not hers.
and then, mind was lost in a train of thoughts, i bathed with my earrings on.

maybe at the start, some things dont mean as much to me.
but as time goes on, i start getting more grown and attached to these things unknowingly.
when they smile, i smile.
and when they hurt, i hurt.
when they leave, i hurt but i give a smile, knowing they'll be leaving for somewhere better.
sometimes, i get into a dilemma, knowing i shouldnt be selfish and only think for myself. knowing that i should do anything to make them feel better and happier.
if its only stress and sadness and a demoralized feeling i give them, i'd rather be the one, to turn my back, and walk away first. because, i feel like i'd been a bitch to them. it shows that, maybe..maybe it's someone or something who love them more that they need.

time and again, i've tried, to feel like a rock, so as not to feel anything. to be heartless. i tell myself to rationalize things. to let something go pursue its true happiness. its like keeping a pet. when i see my pet turtle looking gloomy and sad all day, i'd rather release it into the wild, to join the other turtle friends and be happier.
dunno. i dunno what to do. turtle, what do you want me to do? continue to keep you in that tank, or set you free to swim in the pond by the park?
turtle, oh turtle. am i such a horrid owner. )=

giddy.
block nose.
urgh.
this shows how well i take care of myself. haha

gossip girls is my new english show. the only minus point is that cho chang's in there.
xlxl, its gossip girl.

2007-11-15T10:01:00.000+08:00

quote of the day?
never simply use the word 'most', because thats usually not true.
i know i shouldnt be feeling like saddened, but i cant help it.
you got that responsibility. you gotta go.
but all i wished was that, you didnt give false hopes.
its ok. i'm going with my siblings then. maybe i should get my own.
dont be in a dilemma. you've got your duties to fulfil.

studying for gmp ut. think i'm gonna flunk it anyway. no mood to go buy crabs too.

i heard about that professional actress who shed crocodile tears to try and save her own skin yesterday. backstabbing me and yongjun in the process. she said i was sarcastic. lol. like HELLOOOO. she comes for 2 meetings. and disappear for the rest. and she didnt even help the whole of trial one.
she didnt even bother asking if there were meetings until the day itself (and mind you, used it as an excuse not to turn up), and asking if there were meeting weeks ago, acting ignorant and pretending no one bloody sent her messages. the point is, why do we even have to send messages to one who sents excuses like she's been in an accident (and i saw her the next day with 2 legs and 2 hands left still, and no bandages in sight), been sick (see her the next day with her boyfriend, looking perfectly fine), overslept (what kinda shit excuse is that), in school for talk (like hello, we are having meeting and you're going for a talk?)WOW, and not even replying at all?? and the best excuse ever? THE TEAM DIDNT SEND ME ANYTHING. if you were responsible enough. you would have asked. honestly, we dont even need a redundant and backstabbing member like you. do know that its now 4 against 1. may the good triumph.
and yeah, just in case you didnt know. it was about you, JOANNE ISSAC.

no point bursting a blood vessel and ruining my day more with regards to sucha bitch.
you wanna see girl's school bitchiness? i'll show it to you.

enough of ranting. i'll get back to studying. ahhh, feeling much better.

2007-11-12T09:52:00.000+08:00

i hate YIP YEAN YEAN!
why cant she tell us that there's lab by word of mouth?
I know sending emails means making use of technology,
but hello, the school mail is so full of junk mails that i dont even check it?!
!@#$#$!@$!@$!
making me skip school twice in 8 lessons. its like oh my tian??
i love this fac so much. my grades are dipping. i'm stressed out. i need to start planning what i need to do after i graduate. i'm severely stressed out. and the least she could do was to tell us by word of mouth there's lab laa!

now i'm alone. alone in class. like someone forlorn looking idiot. sigh.
until 4pm seh. until 4pm. oh great. now i gotta leave this class at 2pm. and go library alone cause that WOMAN's coming back to conduct 3rd meeting in class.

listening to some new english songs i got but some like quite ancient eh.
-> inconsolable-backstreet boys.
-> your guardian angel-red jumpsuit apparatus
-> one boy, one girl-colin raye
-> almost over you-meteor garden soundtrack

rainy day. hate rainy school days. urgh.

thanks yonglee and sijia for coming up to class to pei me for 1 hour. (:

in a relatively foul mood.

2007-11-10T02:10:00.000+08:00

so lazy to update...
nothing much happened this week, apart from lotsa mapling with dumbdumb (: and watching my er zuo ju..and OH! wilson, madd and shu came over to my house to play mahjong! haha. OH! and i went to a small kelong via a small boat for FYP trip on wednesday. but well, didnt learn much laa. ended up feeling so giddy floating on stilts and having the waves rock the whole place also.
baby was too busy working to go out with me laaa. and i'm too busy sleeping anyways.
so aww. since tuesday, havent seen him. but thanks for the chocs! <3 (:

bored bored bored. too lazy to study this holiday. my past week grades were like. CCB. no. not a vulgarity! really my 3 days grade in a row--> CCB. great right. and UT? even worse. B+ for GMP, B for Haematology, and C+ for that module i hate most..whats it again? oh yeah. analytical instrumentation. its such a dry and boring module. geez.

read the papers today (dont ask me why.) and i realized there's this new cancer phase II trial going on whereby white blood cells are extracted and interleukins and or smth is re-introduced into these cells and then re-injected into the body & the cancer cells will actually be greatly reduced. interesting. then again, i asked myself why i was interested in looking at those articles..
do i really like the science field? or issit just for general interest?
then why do i aspire to work at raffles place, in a bank there? follow the footsteps of my parents? because i wanna become a career woman?
darn. all these questions. i wish i can answer them myself.

another article. Universities' world ranking for year 2007. found out NUS dropped to 33th, and NTU stands at 61th or issit 69th? harvard, oxford, cambridge and yale are still top 4 anyway. darn. start thinking girl. what are you gonna do after you graduate. sighh. i feel so old already.

and thinking abt these just gets me all stressed out.
oh my tian, 230 already. going to bed.
shall call to chit chat tmr. (:

btw, who can help me look after melbit(rabbit) from 16th dec to 25th dec? cause i'll be in turkey, my maid will go back to indonesia, my grandma's coming with us and my aunty's going back to m'sia. mum and dad want me to give it away. =( HOWWWWW.

crampscrampscramps.hateit.urgh.

mo gu says she misses me! hehe. =P

will upload pics over the week up soon. if i get less lazy. haha. =x

2007-11-01T00:25:00.000+08:00

though we had kinda a tiff, he came to look for me after fyp today (:
and yada yada. i was damn suey all morning laa.
firstly, woke up half an hour late, ate 2 small biscuits, left house.
then i realized i didnt put on earrings. and missed the traffic light, missed the train. and the most saddening thing? i was playing with the new spa fish in the aquaculture enclosure beside my crab tank and well, my handphone was hung around my neck cause i was waiting for SOMEONE to message lo. haha. and i got too excited playing with the fish (it kept swimming away), i stretched out. and "ploop" i accidentally dipped my handphone into the water tank. great. screen blanked out for quite a long while. short circuited. but it miraculously survived! ^^V

then aldrin my fyp advisor (sports nutritionist and conditioner) told me my landing technique when i jump is wrong, and that my knees are gonna spoil soon. he said it should be facing outward and not inwards when i land. then he found the spot the sinseh rubbed and pressed it hard! ohmytian la! now i know why my waist and leg so jialat le. best.
madd's was worse though, aldrin said her back is flat back, which meant her spine is curvey curvey, and so when she jumps and lands on it, it'll cause damage to the brain instead. =| and he massaged molly's ankle. =X

after which, went sentosa with dear.
had lotsa fun. but ate junk food laa.
calabee potato chips, sour cream! and super duper big gulp of ice lemon tea. couldnt finish =|
then watched the sunset. haha
and JUNGUANG AND FEL LOOK!
we re-enacted your sand message at siloso, specially for you guys. happy belated 2nd! wahaha. =P

then we went to see the cute cute puppies at vivo again =D
so happy. but some of them looked so lonely..aww =(
dear fell in love with the toy poodles too. lols.
was checking out hamster and its cage prices.
then when we were walking out, we saw yenkai and another girl walking in. =|
and he saw perng ceat and his gf somewhere downstairs too. lol

anyway, photos! we saw this heart shape cloud floating by. hahaa. and there was this really sweet wedding going on behind us laa. the woman was fat though. and the guy's ang moh. i came to a conclusion that most brides are so fat on their wedding day, thanks to the countless fattening stuffs their bf's fed them while they were dating. haha =p

sophia aka ginny weasley, dont bully me ah! i am armed with my wand too. "vibration!" hahahaaa. =P

its loves.(:

1st November le. happy 22nd (i think) wedding anniversary mummy & daddy! (:

2007-10-30T21:12:00.000+08:00

i stole that smile again.
again and again, i stole his happiness.
well mel, if you cant make him happy, then give him up.
let him be happier elsewhere.
dont bother him. dont upset him.
dont make him feel lousy.
dont put any pressure on him.

thanks for the pancake today, loves.
it was yummy.
just that it might have been better if i had eaten it earlier.
hope you like the toasts and sausages too.
sorry my pancake mixed had some kinda mites in them =\

found out how sophia's boyfriend looked like at last.
she was kinda shy laa. haha.

i ate alot today. binge eating man:
- 1 garlic toast
- 2 mini sausages
- 4-5 pieces of pancake (:
- mee hoon kuey
- 1 big piece of salada biscuit
- 1 cup of cookie oreo bubble tea
- 1 piece of ham
- 1 piece of mini sausage
- dinner (rice with dishes) and bowl of soup
- fruits

fyp tomorrow. sigh. i dont have molly's log book to refer to. screwed i am.
and i think fyp's gonna end only at probably 4? guess dumbdumb wouldnt wanna go out with me either. sigh.

slept and woke up with very fast heartbeat again. super uncomfortable.
i just hope that knee of yours will listen to me and get better soon. ):

rj writing time. then log book time. urgh.

if you had to choose between family or love, which would you eventually pick? sigh. can i have both?

2007-10-29T22:29:00.000+08:00

something someone said, broke my heart.
"oh, i thought he was your brother"
my heart stopped.
my face looked so sad the rest of the day.

why. why do these comments hurt.alot.

walked chinatown but no avail. ended up eating eggtarts together only. the 2 mahjong sets we saw cost $25-$30, and I know I can get one for less than $15, so i didnt buy any.

beauty for ashes says:
cheer up k, whats the most impt is that YOU and HIM are happy w each other. (;
beauty for ashes says:
other pple stinks

partnie's logic. haha. partnie. i just love you so much. your words never fail to cheer me up bit by bit whenever my mood hits pit bottom. thanks for the nice paint picture.

partnie didnt go training today. mel didnt go training today. madd didnt go training today. joreen said she wasnt going either (happen to see her so she told me), heard ah ma didnt go either, think i saw zhijun online too. wow. today coach must have had some nice romantic picnic with the rest. hahas. and training didnt really pass through my mind the whole while.

i have come to realize that as we grow older, the harder it is to be really happy. as kids, we are oblivion to the surroundings, thoroughly enjoying ourselves everyday. young adults should be like that too, but we're to be matured in thinking as well. darn it.

baby, thank you for the plaster and for coming to find me in school after your papers. i'll try to stay happy de. loves (:

the girl sits on the street,
covering her ears;
oblivion. bliss.
she smiled.
sweet serenity.

2007-10-29T11:22:00.000+08:00

sad day. all my beloveds in my class never come. =(
mel feels lonely!
yikai, sherline, shaun. why you 3 never come on the same day. boohooo.
thank goodness i got my MAGICAL sophia aka ginny weasley for lunch.

meeting dumbdumb after school today. i wanna find my mini mahjong set.
hope the papers were a breeze for ya. score well! (:

zZz. @#$!*%#@

2007-10-29T01:29:00.000+08:00

baby, jiayou for your english papers! (:
can get good grade de. can de. cause i've got magic! bless you. =)

well, maybe i just dont make a good friend. i'm blunt with words i guess.
i just spoke my mind about how i feel about certain stuffs pertaining to my life. but you see it as a form of mocking and became so upset. maybe. maybe i'm just not your type of friend. i've felt so deserted these past weeks. like i was some spare tyre to you. i'm changing so fast i dont even know who i really am anymore. but i have learnt to treasure the people who have never left me, in the times i needed them most. thank you for making me realize it.

darn. i'm feeling like i'm in the dumps again. mel stop emo-ing you dumbdumb! mel listen to yourself. so what if there are gossips going around that you wont last. though you feel really upset that people out there who are your friends, are betting how long you'd last, (and trust me. i hate it when people talk about me) its really how you feel that really matters.
sobs. why do i have to compromise with the world.
my parents.
my friends.
my siblings.
why.
its stressing me out.

mel just stop your crap. live life happily will ya.
gonna get some sleep.

if only. if only.

2007-10-28T00:54:00.000+08:00

was pq-ing and doing quests with dumbdumb till 2.35am last night.
love it when i get his goodnight calls. lol.

went sinseh this morning cause my waist bones still hurt from 1-2 months back's training and its like i cant even sleep on my sides without it feeling weird or hurting. the sinseh woman was really nice laa, budden her rubbing strength.she rubbed the veins and nerves from my waist to my legs! and i didnt know it hurt so much and all the way till my legs! best. now i've got blue blacks. and she asked me to skip training for one week if not when i grow older i sure suffer. just as well. what perfect timing. liddat i'll get 1 week to reweigh my commitments.

then went home for awhile, and out for lunch at great world city. and the food junction's opened! I saw pepper lunch express in there *drools*, and the price seems much cheaper than the pepper lunch i see outside sia. And roti prata. And claypot rice. And and alot of yummy foods! =x

went to vivo city for dinner with my family, my gu po and gu gong from hongkong and ah ma.
so well, i sneaked out to get melbit a new rabbit drinking bottle and YES! to see more cute cute puppies! they are so cuteee! the toy poodle had his butt face me and shitted in front of me though. -_- but the white pomeranian and white toy poodle. so ke ai!! the white pomeranian was like barking and posing for the camera when she saw me approaching (reminded me of xiao ling's pocky =) ) and baby's favourite chihuahuas who were sleeping soundly. haha.

Found this candle holder really pretty and intriguing while i had dinner ytd. it mesmerized me. my sis loved it too. =)

dont try to dissuade me. when i feel that there's injustice towards something, I will make sure there's justice to it. maybe you dont feel it because you're not the one with the freaking same grade as someone who doesnt even bother to come for trainings, who's always late and well, its just THE bare minimum passing grade. I mean its not like i havent done my report properly, or put in the extra effort to come back on weekends at night to feed the crabs either. wadever laa. freaking RP new FYP system. use SAS as guinea pigs? and now refuse to review more cases?

mr. clumsy grassjelly soybean. i still remember that. lol (:

time for bed.
tomorrow shall be a better day.

p.s. PSP slim or DS lite? DS lite has Maplestory DS coming out! but PSP graphics better and can watch shows. anyway, considering it while saving up for it. haha

2007-10-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

the warrior fights,
the warrior fought;
and fought he had with all to naught.
the warrior thought,
that perserverance bought,
recognition, glory, honor aboard,
but dismayed he was, he wasnt called
deep down inside, his prideful heart bawled.

baby, thank you for being there.
i will smile de. i will.
loves. (:

no more about vball. no more.
like sophia always say,
every 60 seconds of unhappiness, takes away 60 seconds for happiness
so why not just be happy?
its just that. sometimes. i feel i suck too much, that justice doesnt even come near. the absence, the presence. what difference does it make? i see no importance of presence or my willpower anymore.
aja aja; fightou fightou no more.
my heart broke. my willpower died.

went to wilson's house with dumbdumb today. haha. (madd madd dua us last min!)
this time we cooked papadam! ahaha. cause it was the easiest to cook and we were lazy (wilson cooked the curry chicken and chicken rice) =|
last time was an overnight mahjong session with wilson, madd, alex.
play like mad cause we got hooked to mahjong. i didnt know we actually need alot of brains to play mahjong. hahas.
Wong wong came over for the curry chicken too! so long never see her le. she asked me to help her says hi to everyone! got her greetings? (: anyways,
here's our papadam cooking session!

step 1: take out a piece of papadam and put it in hot oil, like this!

step 2: watch papadam bubble in the oil and expand until very very big! like this! =D

step 3: when papadam looks very big and uneven, take it out and put it on paper towel to drain out the oil. then tada! done! so easy right? haha. look! (before and after)

grandma made me nice wanton soup for dinner. wasnt there so mummy tar pau-ed for me. haha. yum yum! my lovely supper.

mel zi lian's. see my gu niang posture. =p

JUNGUANG AND FEL, THANK YOU FOR SUANING ME AH.
SWEET REVENGE AH. RAWR!!!
you 2 go busy with your tian tian mi mi laa! aiyoooo. =\

and baokun, how you know my full name! alamak. always randomly come and call me "primary school kid" and now you come and call out my full name on msn. oh my tian. this is scary. lol.

dearest, have a good day at school (:
mel can sleep in. muahaha.
and seeeee. i told ya the chain was gay. Lols!

2007-10-23T09:28:00.000+08:00

Layer One: On the Outside]
Name: Melissa Ng
Birth Date: 9 January 1988
Current Status: Happy (:
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair Color: brown with lighter brown highlights
Righty or Lefty: lefty!

[Layer Two: On the Inside]
Your Heritage: heritage? a bit peranakan chinese?
Your Fear: ghosts, dark, cockroaches, loved ones dying! =(
Your Weakness: too cute. ehh, like abit bhb. lOl. =|
Your Perfect Pizza: huh. ham + cheese + bacon + terriyaki chicken + sliced mushroom

[Layer Three: Yesterday, Today , Tomorrow]
Your First Thought This Morning: Wake up. Time to go to school.Urgh. hate school
Your Last Thought Before Bedtime: To put it under my pillow (:
Your Most Missed Memories: Holidaying in Japan, Disneyland, hotsprings! cute stuffs!

[Layer Four: Your Pick]
Pepsi or Coke: NONE! i dont like super gasey drinks. sworn by iced tea.
McDonald or Burger King: McDonald fries, burger king's mushroom swiss single
Single or Group Dates: Huh. i think occasional group dates make things more fun.
Adidas or Nike: Adidas!!! (:
Tea or Nestea: HUH. whats the diff?? All seems like tea to me.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Ehh. white chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: I dont and cant drink coffee at all.

[Layer Five: Do You...]
Smoke: Yeps. In rp we smoke with our mouths. Everybody's smokin~!
Curse: hmm. the one i always curse and scold = dumbdumb. wahahaa
Take showers: AH BER.if not how come i smell good? =p
Have a crush: hmm. no ah. zhen yuan chang? mike he? lol.
Think you are in love: ^^V

[Layer Six: In the Past Month]
Drank alcohol: yea.
Gone to the mall: of course.
Been on stage: huh. i dunno leh.
Eaten sushi: aberden. sushi tei. my favourite =D
Dyed your hair: yeps. if not how did i get brown hair. ._.

[Layer Seven: Have You Ever...]
Played a stripping game: HUH!!
Changed who you were to fit in: Hmm. dont think so.

[Layer Eight: Age]
You are hoping to be married at the age of: 24-25?

[Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy]
Best Eye Color: blue
Best Hair Color: brown
Short Hair or Long Hair: Long hair

[Layer Ten: What Were You Doing]
1 Min Ago: Erm doing this?
1 Hour Ago: Erm, still doing this while in class? haha
4.5 Hours Ago: 12.08pm - 4.5 hrs = wah. how to count. 7.30am? Coming to school with (:
1 Month Ago: one month ago ah. happy one mth one day lo. Oh, =|
1 Year Ago: 1 yr -_- HOW I KNOW SIA.

[Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence]
I Love: the stars, cute stuffs, friends closest to me, havaianas, dumbdumb, mapling, walking on the streets during christmas(especially in winter countries), travelling overseas on winter holidays( i wanna go to hokkaido to see the music box museum)!, music box with nice classical music, snow globes, teddy bears (princess hours one. so cute), wishing wands. alot of stuffs. (:

[Layer Twelve: Tag five people]
1) YiKai
2) Mo gu!
3) partner!
4) Madd madd
5) Ah ma =p

2007-10-23T01:40:00.001+08:00

thanks for the gift (:
will treasure it de.
and its yet another outing to the vivo sky garden. haha
very fun meh? lol.

963 took 1 hour plus to get to vivo as usual. sat until butt super painful laa. sat until some pig fell asleep. VERY ASLEEP. reach already also dunno. lol.

went to look at the puppies! they are like so damn cute laa!
the 2 baby chi hua huas and the shitzu were the cutest of the lot! and the mini shinauzer (dunno how to spell. too complicated) =D
and the baby ham hams...so ke ai!!!
thanks for reminding me that we were early enough to go to the pet shop today. haha

junguang! why tag me to do the quiz! ahhh! now 1.46am le. tmr then do. tmr then do.
yong jun, cheer up ok? take this one week to think things through bah. and nxt time can ask me go kbox with you le. only for crisis hor. ahaha.

and I finally got my first daily A grade! thanks haematology fac! ( i forgot her name =| ) =DDD
tmr shall get one from eng yong yong!! eng yong yong. watch out! =p

oops. i ran outta icing for my cupcakes..darn. how to offer to sophia they all tmr. left plain ones le =|

super hungry. i need to stop my lao sai after meals thingy le. sian. hungryyy! shall go to bed (remember to put it under my pillow). craving for nice honey glazed grilled chicken wings.

hope the few who received my cupcakes loved it! more importantly, hope your stomachs are feeling ok. hahas. (:

2007-10-22T13:39:00.000+08:00

partnie found a cat, and i found an uncivillized old woman.
=\

went holidaying and visiting around the school with mo gu! (:
first stop, jan jan's class.
second stop, shuhui's class.
third stop, shirui's class.
fourth stop, xiaoling's class.
fifth stop, pantry outside xiaoling's class with zhijun, gill, mo gu and shirui. plus shu who came at the last minute. haha
sixth stop, molly and madd's class.
so fun! haha
i should do visitation more often.
hope you girls dont lao sai from my cupcakes!
i already wrote a disclaimer on it. lols. =|

i keep getting a stomachache after i eat anything laaaa.
so screwed. zzz
for so long already still liddat. arghh!

melly is bored in the library~~
sooo sooo bored.
my crunchyroll isnt loading.
dumbdumb's studying.
no nice music to listen to. Eeeeek!
someone's playing secret in the library =O!

2007-10-22T09:50:00.000+08:00

reached school at 9am.
didnt realized there's lab.
didnt bring lab coat.
in shorts and slippers.
having another terrible stomachache.
giving someone a cold shoulder today for some broken promise.
cant get that incident outta my head.
having a terrible stomachache.
still have cupcakes to deliver.
feel like being left alone.

CAN MY DAY GET ANY WORSE.

2007-10-22T01:06:00.000+08:00

dearest, happy 2nd. (:
made cupcakes for the first time! =D
see, i decorated them so sweetly right? ..but too bad. this box is for someone special =p
the remainder shall be given to people dearest to me, but only 1 each ah. =|
hahas.
DISCLAIMER: EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK. FIRST ATTEMPT. MIGHT LOOK PRETTY, BUT MIGHT NOT BE EDIBLE. lol.

and to you,
though hor though we always quarrel. thanks for being there. (:
loves.
(:

and to partnie, i think all your ham, bams, fishiewee and all are doing well in pet heaven. dont be upset kkies? (:

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHU! You're finally as old as me. haha. =D

the sun and the sunflower. (:

2007-10-18T10:53:00.000+08:00

so tireddd..finally had some decent sleep for the first time this whole week.
finallly~

i realized some things are ebbing in my life but i cant pin point what are the things ebbing away. and i'm feeling so lost as well. hard as i try not to show it, i feel so lost as to what i am gonna do when i graduate, where i am heading in life, what do i really want in life and all. sigh )':

fyp. i hate fyp. i really really do. it took up the whole of my wednesday. and even when i had a terrible stomachache and a bout of diarrhoea, i still couldnt take a short rest and had to go about recording stuffs and washing stuffs and hanging stuffs which made me lose the mood to go anywhere because i was exhausted. so went to wilson's house nearby with madd and alex for mahjong and baking of cupcakes. ask him along but he didnt want to go.. its not like i really didnt want to go for a movie, i was really tired. i hope you understand. but i guess, its simply an empty promise to you.

i feel so exhausted that i am in my sobbing mode again. i think i am in my pms-ing today. everyone should just leave me alone. i keep thinking back about the past. about how some things might be different. that stare that spoke a thousand words in the canteen that day.

sheesh.

dearest, take care of your stomach bahs.

i need a gpa of 3.4 to qualify for any university overseas, much less singapore. 3.4..meaning which my gpa has to maintain this semester. sigh. i hope its possible. my grades..havent gotten a single A the whole 5 weeks. and my uts are worse. gmp was screwed up. feeling so lousy.

and people actually betted how long we'd last. wow. i've become a bet too. haha?
feeling so weird. shant blog anymore for today.

urgh. hate my rotten mood.

2007-10-15T19:26:00.000+08:00

sorry dearest.
i'm so sorry.
i dont know what had gotten into me. shouldnt have been liddat.
sorry to have hurt you.
once again...

why am i blaming people for the things they cant change.
i should be blaming myself for things that I cant change instead.
a mindset is easier to change than that.
dumb me. its all my fault.

haematology ut was kinda a minor screw up too.
i seem to always screw up my own life. urgh.
i hate school.

what's gotten into me~!

i'm sucha freak. hate me.

2007-10-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

you ROBBER!

hear me rawr! haha
quite somewhile since i last updated.
saw all the xiao yuan superstar kiddies having a gathering. my brother's favourite keely was there too. coolness.

went to walk walk and have dinner cause mum and dad had a wedding dinner today. muahaha.

esplanade. (:

and RAWR YOU. you cheater! rawr rawr rawr! =|

my maple hair...thanks to SOMEONE, changed to something that looked like seaweed. best ah. ahaha. thanks ar. so much for your lucky hands. lol. should have stucked with my caspia hair. =( LOOK! my SEAWEED! =|

look at the complete smiling idiot. <--my dearest dumbdumb big baby sia. ahahaha. (:

<3.

2007-10-11T00:30:00.000+08:00

dear gillian, my condolences to your boyfriend's dad..girl, people come people go. feel blessed that you have memories of him to go on by and have had chances to know this great man while he was alive. cheer up soon okies. your boyfriend and his mum needs you. hugs.

and I ate a SANITARY PAD today! hahaha.
its actually candy.
shall upload a picture of it tomorrow.
cause my laptop's bluetooth has gone crazy again.

tried changing my hairstyle in maple with my sis and her friend today. and now i got caspia hairstyle from amoria. dang! -_- dearest came to grace the "event" and said that its nice though. haha. (: but her friend got a durian hair style. lols. my sis got angelica. darn! i want that!

feeling so tired. but left in a mood i cant sleep again.
missing dearest and yeah. no matter how much i hurt myself from volleyball again. i'm not gonna complain to him already. this sympathy thing seems to go nowhere. i dont wanna quit vball. i really dont.

saw Mark, TP no.11 after dinner at the train station. And Shu and Madd dua me! they say they'll wait for my train...end up when they saw mark boarding their departuring train, they ran for it and left me alone. thats what friends are for laaa. love u 2 so much. thanks ah. haha.

randoming trash @#$#^&^%$#@:
- i wanna bake cupcakes!
- i wanna see cute little puppies
- zambuk is my new found friend
- my hands are so rough, it feels like washing board and sandpaper
- i wanna see my pineapple alot ):

stoning already. i need my sleep no matter how much i cant. shall try to resolve issues tomorrow morning. goodnite.

never give up on the things that make you smile. (:
all the best for your UT tmr dearest. go go jiayou (:

2007-10-08T00:59:00.000+08:00

went out with my family today.
finally lil sis has no more tuition at novena, so no more need to go velocity every sunday.
and lil bro had no activities on, so finally we all went out as a family.

started off with my cheesy fondue pizza at pizza hut marina square =D. but the cheese, was reallly reallly, seriously...too much. (and this comment comes from a cheese lover, mind you) =\ so its practically extremely cheesyfied.

then kbox! dad suggested it. but my mum looked pretty pissed off. and she didnt sing a song. my dad, lil sis and I practically sang our way through..and i went kbox-ing with a sore throat..so i sounded weird. hahas.
the whole time, was feeling a lil' down. or rather moody, so i sang those emo songs with lotsa emotion. ahahaa

ended the day with dinner at central. the ramen there is like...yummy. and went to azabu sabo for icecream, and saw xuanxuan there. thanks xuanxuan for the ice cream treat! (: anyway, the green tea ice cream was really good. i think i prefer the one at suntec though.
sat by the riverside and watched the night life in clarke quay, lights up and all. i just love lights, especially those lights on the streets during christmas, along with the christmas songs. my favourite festival.. =D

started to maple again. because my lil sis and her.."friend" started in cassopeia too. i wanna change my maple hair again! the new ones at amoria looks pretty nice =D
hmm. and i am happy dearest played with me laa. but i rather he studied for his test.
zzz. and i'm still a little annoyed. wanna make char siew outta that pig! rawr~

glad for my gor that he and his girlfriend are very happy together. hahaa. he's like totally obsessed with her laa. goodness. its great he doesnt know i have a blog. lol

ohmytian laa. 1.15am ler. sigh. ok, honestly, i'm feeling really tired. got training tomorrow somemore. gotta get to bed...signing off. (:

2007-10-07T00:28:00.000+08:00

when mahjong seems to overweigh that one important thing to you.
hahaha.
i'm just being dumb.

forced to wake up after only 8 hours of sleep.
cause my air con broke down and the repair men came.
cant be appearing in the living room in my pyjamas.

i wanted to eat my aromatheraphy cheese fondue pizza at pizza hut today! but but...i had no time to. darn it. its only available till 19th oct laa. ):
nevermind. shall nag to go again tmr.

evening: had to go for my dad's company's bbq..honestly, i dont think i'm ever going to such gatherings again. I mean, i'm already so big?? Which 19 yr old daughter and whole family follows dad to a company's gathering. I felt like a freeloader sitting there and just being served all the bbq food. so i dragged my siblings to sit on a bench by the sea... so peaceful. we had a great chat there. about all the r/s stuffs and about different funny things that happened when we were younger. nostalgic.
the best part is mistaking the place of bbq, which made us walk 30 mins there, and then 30 mins back. and then we went for a drink at the BFD bar there, cause of my mum and bro, who wanted to watch the man-u match vs wigan on big screen there. i was having a good time listening to the live band instead. they were like..really good! like when they sang lips of an angel by extreme behaviour. (:

and my phone message came in, but from yong jun.
should have seen that crestfallen look on my face.
sometimes when girls say one thing like they dont care and ask you to go do your stuffs and all, they actually meant "well,surely you'll know how to reply admist it all". haha. guys, learn that please.

finding something interesting to do now...

craves:
- the cold rock creamery ice cream
- pretty cupcakes
- white chocolates
- my cheesy fondue pizza!
- for bu neng shuo de mi mi to play on my phone or twinkle twinkle.
- i wanna lose more weight~ =|

2007-10-05T16:05:00.000+08:00

ok, i think i'm pms-ing.
think i shall go home now.
pissed.
so much for being nice.

2007-10-05T00:23:00.000+08:00

oh no oh no
oh my tian oh my tian.
jiao lian suan-ed me.
AHHH!!

faints*

擅自组张的家伙!!!
you owe me one for that!! =|
now the whole world knows.
oh man. best ah you!! =x
jiao lian still: "还双左呢~"
faint laaa.
and the best part is, you answer liddat somemore, when you know...
faint
ok laa, you win for the last time hor! =|

jan jan had a happy cupcakes day. thanks to mo gu
the cupcake so pretty laa!
got pearl balls on it and heart shape. but hor, is the pearl edible? =|
but so cute!

ran my 2.4 warm up for gym in 13 mins! so proud laaaa. first time i ran 2 rounds without walking. lol. motivation for all you guys taking napfa later this month kkies! though i think i should be much slower =|

chao da pig, i'm learning kkies! (:
its just an extra step. =p

wah. 1.15am ler. i think i wont have enough sleep. boohooo.
gdnite!

and mo gu wore ORANGE today. HA HA. ^^

2007-10-04T13:36:00.000+08:00

YAY! mel cooked lunch! (: nice nice? anyone hungry yet? ahahaa =p
too bad its not for you! lala.

ingredients inside:
-ham
-sausages
-egg
-pasta
-domino mushroom and herb pasta sauce
-parmaesan cheese =D

yumyum! to people in school, dont get hungry! hahahas. =x

2007-10-04T00:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH MA!!! (:
so was i the last to wish you? hahas

had FYP at 9am in the morning. and best laa, i left house at 8am. reached school at 9.05am. first one from the team in school. best. but i slept all the way from jurong east to woodlands laa. was like...damn tired! finally finished fixing up the tanks! (:

had lots and lots of fun at sentosa siloso today (:
me, him, yong jun, wilson and wong played with TP's captain elaine and 4 other guys. got totally owned =| ok, at least we didnt lost too badly in the 2nd set. darn. so malu. havent been playing beach volleyball for a long long time.
madd was like lost out there suntanning. dunno where she went to laa. and tan come back, still WHITE. lol.

and so yeah, i took antacid tablet this morning so that my stomach wouldnt hurt after i eat. was like so determined not to let my stomach ruin my day. hahas.

had alot of fun with the 5 of them. So long nvr see wong ler! and yong jun and wilson became like so good friends they were laming along with wong, jumping and rolling into the sea. best sia. hahaa.
and we had so much fun throwing sand around and splashing water at one another. like little kids man. =p
then i missed out on a sand message someone wrote for me. not bad hor. i had him for a guardian angel while i slept on the sand under the shade. LOL.
stole my slippers to take pics somemore. and i didnt know. best leh.

contemplated to go for songs of the sea and luge ride today, but due to time constraints... aww man. nevermind. there's always next week (:
just pray hard no long hours of FYP. grr.

i put sunblock all over my body before heading out into the sun, but it was until i went to bathe, that i realized i forgot to put on the most important part, my face. win already. =p

and so we went for dinner at vivocity. and well. tried carls jr. but wth, they can happily said they ran out of mushrooms, fish and chicken.. LIKE WELL, THEY MIGHT AS WELL SAY THEY ONLY HAD BEEF LEFT?! then i wanted to eat Kim Gary, but there was a queue and its non halal. And danny couz saw me! and well well...he was with MELISSA. ahaha. i told that girl she has a nice name. and she said i had a nice one too. lol.
couz, jiayou wor! first you had a gf with my mum's name, now you're dating someone with my name. lol. not bad. =p come visit us soon.

and then we went to play cards at vivo's sky garden.
very nice view. i miss star cruise!
anyway, security walked past and then 3 policemen. wow. i had to hide all the cards under my fat thighs. lol.
then at 10.20pm, madd, wong and wilson found excuses to walk around vivo and darn it, they purposely left me and him behind to clear up some stuffs.well, had a good chat and all though. glad. (: but well, abandoning us for more than half an hour was too long dont you think!!!

anyway, mel's status is unknown again. wheee. what a confusing world. I'm just so apprehensive cause I'm just scared this is another vicious cycle. so well, taking things easy. if its meant, its meant. As long as we enjoy each other's company can le. hahas.

banged into the sky tram's window and onto a metal pole at the sky garden. everything to do with the sky. so unlucky!!

so damn sleepy. gonna get some sleep. meeting madd madd for lunch tomorrow i think. IF SHE CAN WAKE UP...HOR? rawr.
time to sleep.
oyasumi. (:

2007-10-02T21:23:00.000+08:00

went home with dumbdumb today.
wanted to accompany him to eat, but was refused because my stomach keeps hurting after i eat something and because he decided to go for np's training.

i was all chatty and smiley and trying to be myself the whole way...
and kept nagging at him and disturbing him and bickering and all.
put on a happy front cause i wanted to see him smile as well.
and he looks cuter when he smiles.
and i'm happy just to bicker with him non stop.
haha. so near yet so far.
now i get the meaning of that phrase.

and fell asleep just now upon reaching home. think i msged something subconsciously. great..smart mel. you just ruined your cover. zzz.

not gonna get an A for today's class anyway. and the C i got last week was due to me playing in class and taking pictures of sleeping classmates and nothing else. my fault laa.

sentosa after fyp tmr. looking forward to it. looking forward to go roller blading with..

haha. i got a new nick today. emo queen. lol. i think i can star in some korean soap drama these couple of days. those every 15 mins of show cry one time de. lol.anyone needs a calafair in their korean show? =|

gotta go get my rj done.
thinking.

2007-10-02T01:02:00.000+08:00

the end of the winding path.
lies a wall.
etched with memories.

no more worries about not getting to spend christmas in s'pore. i guess now i'm all set to go anywhere with my parents. even if it means coming back after christmas..even if it means going overseas for 2 whole weeks. it doesnt matter anymore. there's no one i feel like spending christmas with already. its gone.

when it hurts.
it really hurts.

i know i need to move on.
but somehow, you made it sound so easy.
things are always easier said than done.

i guess there's no point for me to hold on any longer either.
yan yan beginning.
yan yan ending.
beautiful collision.

madd says she misses the old me. the old me who used to challenge her to daily grades. the old me who used to laugh at everything and joke about every damn thing without always frowning or crying but the old me is like...hidden somewhere. she's lost. buried somewhere out there. i cant get her back so easily.

relationships are sweet yet miserable.
remind me never to get into one again.
just when i recovered from old hurt, i gotta get myself in this rubbish again.
how stupid of me.

and kelvin tan, thanks for the sound advice. thanks. this is the first time i really appreciate you for being my facilitator apart from your kaypo and mean style of teaching. i'll keep those words in mind.

i need more tissues. haahaaa.

i think i need sunglasses to school later. the hey gorgeous people will be all around school and they dont need an extra puffy panda to beautify the surroundings.
ha ha ha haaaaahahaa.
now i know what it feels like to be nuts. hahaa.

to you, thank you for everything. even giving me up was all for my sake.
i know we'll still be very good friends. bestfriends. but for now, lets take a long vacation off one another. maybe weeks later, we'd both go to school together again. just not now.
and dont ever think of quitting school k? its just another 1 year to go. perservere. 1 more year and you can go anywhere you like. jiayou.

"dear guardian angel, take me far far away~" away from everything.

i cant blog anymore.i need to sleep. my eyes feel like crap now. C.r.a.p.
ha hahahaa

bye smallerthanthree dumbdumb.

2007-10-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

ok, i was telling myself. nah. he wouldnt wait for me to finish training cuz i ignored him the whole training cause i was still kinda pissed of. and he wasnt.
nah.he wont be at any of the fast food outlet at cwp waiting. and true enough, he wasnt.
and nah, he wouldnt be at woodlands mrt bench waiting either. and yup, he wasnt.
so when i told myself he might be at jurong east bench waiting, i was like. forget it. its IMPOSSIBLE. i laughed to myself. and well, i got so shocked seeing him with zhiping on the bench. i was like..hmmm..that brown and white shirt damn familiar..and i got stunned. best. first time i got so surprised.

budden, i dunno. i was happy but his face looked so strained, as though he was forced to wait there. sighh. i guess nothing ever makes me happy.
and best is, i passed smth of memorable value to him, and he didnt want it. i guess i was just being childish. its just wishing on my part. i shouldnt have.

thanks for waiting for me anyway. really.
(:

and today's fel's bday! and junguang had a bouquet of nine teddy bears delivered to her...fel's eyes were like all red when she collected them. lol. everyone who ate lunch together were like...awwwww. hahas.

shall go and bathe. feeling really stinky and achey now.

2007-10-01T16:46:00.000+08:00

zzz.
what a day.
it just makes me even more confused.

its like, one day its fine
and another day its not.
and how am i supposed to react to it??

and my mood always changes along with it.
my daily grades are like dipping.
got a daily grade C just on the second week of school
from a fac that used to gimme only As' and B's somemore.
great.
really great.
my last semester in school and my grades just keep dipping.
i think i need to draw up a timetable for myself to strictly follow.
maybe that'll help.

another day in class. didnt really learn anything much.
or rather, i was in a slack mode again cause nothing gets in.

waiting for training time.
madd's not here today.
so lonely laa.
nevermind. mel survives as a loner! (:
mo gu offered to da fang with me today..so good luck me! hahaa.

sigh.

2007-10-01T01:07:00.000+08:00

so tiredd..
cant sleep though.
why are you acting so weird suddenly?
whats wrong?
sighh.
and i cant help again.
hope you cheer up soon

facebook.
still dunno how to use it.
and wth. had some bad luck adding the wrong ass who ended up being some irritating #@$@%#^.
but mo gu taught me how to use fluff friends! and gosh. the pets are like cute laa. =) adopted a reindeer for myself. christmas spirit!

got training later. and i still cant sleep. guess i'll pretty much screw up for training ltr. urgh. dumb coffee icecream. shouldnt have eaten it.

bought my basic theory book! haha. i am so inspired to learn to drive, all thanks to zhijun. (though i'm really frightened about the thought of me driving on the road anyway)she drove us out of school after training on thursday..and i was like exclaiming along with madd "so cool laa!" and so... yes, mel wanna take driving! good luck to which ever instructor who lends me his car to practice. =|

here's something super yummy! apart from the coffee icecream which i didnt like due to its flavour..
try this muddy mud pie from the coffee club! (: (disclaimer: make sure you dont eat it alone...its impossible to finish =| )

gonna try to get some sleep by 1.30...though i think its like..totally impossible. urgh.
someone teach me how to fall asleep!! >.<"

2007-09-29T23:11:00.001+08:00

diarrhoea....
3 times le lo..still counting.
stupid gastric.
its not like i didnt eat regularly what.
good lo, liddat can lose weight.

bought a new wallet from wallet shop yesterday. cause mine spoilt ler.
its black,pink,purple,and green! (: heard its by some local designer. myuk or smth. dunno. nvr heard of it though. but my lil sis seems to know. (sisters...)

feeling happier today even though my stomach feels like crap.
sometimes, it better not to think all the negative stuffs and only focus on the positive.
so well, i've learnt to see things on a more positive scale.
thank you for caring so much. (:
and you better take care of your knees laaa. aiyo.
next destination: vivo sky garden. haha.i'll rmb that.

went kim gary cafe for lunch today.
he went there for dinner. lol.
so qiao.
ate the korean noodles with egg and beef...honestly speaking, it tasted like magi mee, not nice de.
and drank longan with aloe vera.
but diarrhoea-ed out everything anyway.

yongjun! i want the real cookie ice cream! stop sending me all the pictures only..pictures cannot eat de! =(

watched hana kimi-japan de, the whole of tdy...the sano very cute! =p mizuki too though. i used to love the manga so much in sec sch. hanazakari no kimi tachi e. still got the whole series in my bedroom cupboard. hahas.

things to do:
- bathe
- write log book (finally bought a notebook to write in)
- take medicine
- sleep early, if not someone will nag =p

stomach hurts.
hate my stomach. grr. zzz.

2007-09-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

song playing on itunes: Ocean Ou De Yang- 一人一半

another new day.
but funny thing is, i dont feel really refreshed.
on the contrary, i felt so tired.
so tired i actually fell asleep on his shoulders.
thanks for lending them to me.

i'm so confused.
its like nothing's changed.
just that there's 2 more confused souls now.
i asked for a limit of one week to think things through..
and i really feel lost.
i keep thinking, maybe well, if i walked away now,
maybe i'd be forgotten. and well, maybe someone will be happier.
arghh. i feel so conflicted...
i need to find something that'll help me confirm my feelings or what i wanna do. my heart tells me one thing, my mind tells me another. sigh.

glad that i could actually speak my mind and not hide my emotions for once with you over the phone. i'm glad you spoke your mind too. i'm sorry. just give me a little more time kkies.

and my best friend ps-ed me, at a time where i didnt wanna be left alone. at a time i needed someone to sound me out.
ha ha. thanks for being there to catch me. really. i cant appreciate it more. friends.

and yongjun, thanks for the chocolates that you brought for the haematology team.
white chocolates still taste better. ha.

gotta go bathe. 12am. haha. later get flu = good game le. feeling so tired. )':

2007-09-28T00:17:00.001+08:00

i feel so lost.
seriously dunno what to do.
what should I do?
i guess i need some time to think things over bahs.
part of me wants to give in, the other part tells me its stupid to.

training was kinda slack tdy. and jiao lian seemed to be in a good mood. played on the same team as dumbdumb. so watched him spike and all lo. i wanna receive balls like him la. so.. our team was the shorty team. except bobby and jiao lian who were so darn tall.zz

fell on my same blue black again. double black le. haha.
but everyone told me i looked so lost so blur today.
all asked me to cheer up.
some wanna give me chocolates somemore. haha.
thanks peeps. mel will smile de. (:

partner asked mel to jiayous.
mel is very very confused.

anyone ever heard of a golden pineapple worth 2.8k. ha ha.

2007-09-27T14:49:00.000+08:00

终于决定了。
我们为这份感情挂上休纸符。
永远做对方最好的朋友。

just to make each other smile again.

stupid as it may sound.
even though 2 people may really love each other, it doesnt mean that they must be together.
if not being together will make each side happier, then we ourselves are contented.

thanks for everything you have done.
we shall try our best to make each other smile and be happy now. as more than friends, but less than lovers.

go go jiayou.

these special memories will be kept inside my <3
liangcharosesmetoyouwarmthinmyhandsyanyansandcastlessmrtchallengelovedumbdumbhavaianasslippersthejepalangdessertmadewithlovehugsthatkeyandlocketcadburychocolatemintbasketpiggiesmogumoguoldchangkeemuffinnumber2.

to every other attached soul out there, treasure your other half because you guys are really lucky to have been made for each other. just like junguang and fel. (:

loves.

2007-09-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

listening to: fullhouse-I think I; Queen-Love of My life (meteor garden)

PP presentation was like...ok. i dunno. the person before me had really nice poster, and so did the person after me..and my poster looks like shyt compared to theirs. and well, I felt as thought the advisors doubted the genuinity of my report, thus they questioned how i went about interviewing him. and why I profiled him. anyways, dont think i'll fail laa. if not i'll go crazy.

then it was fyp time. at w5. near sports complex. our new venue for G302 project. wheee. at least no more shitified carpark to go to. its just below my block! (:
but do all the sai gang again laa. this time aldrin's in-charge.. but well. I think the ending conclusion would be the same. I'm like so afraid i'm gonna score another stupid C. liddat really bye bye university. anyway, it started pouring and we kinda got wet.my pumps were soaked and well, my feet stank =| gee.

then lunched in school and went out with yongjun, madd and daniel to kbox. daniel said my voice is nice. compliment sia. =p
madd was busy throwing the toasters around too. haha.
then we sang tank's fei ni mo shu...i like the song alot alot..but someone doesnt ): say its noisy somemore. when I sang the song, i recalled what he said la.

down with blocked nose and tight chest the past few nights... worried laa. I have no idea whether its due to training (muscle strain or pull) or not. but then again, how to strain the muscles near your chest. i also never do arm press. super tired. i'm like relieved PP is finally outta my mind, or at least for the time being, and I can stop worrying about FYP too, cause we're finally back on track. but its not just that, i'm always worrying and stressed out..... ): need alot alot of rest.

anyway, some people in my class commented i suddenly looked so girl ytd, even dumbdumb. WHEY! am i really so un-girl or tom boyish before that? is this what you call girly. =|

tmr's training day again. i love vball. but i'm tired. i dunno why i feel so tired these days. and everyone asked if i went out ytd..yeah, with daniel and madd to heeren and ate pepper lunch for dinner, nowhere else. no one else le laaa. ):

going to bed once i say gdnite to him. (:
cant tahan le.

2007-09-25T00:23:00.000+08:00

mel's all cheered up.
thanks dear. hahas <3 (:
thanks for that really nice presents and the little basket pigs.
he can actually draw! (*stunned) =| ahaha.

i used to always look forward to every lantern festival when i was younger, because my mum and dad would always buy me these cute little basket pigs to eat then. And then i'll become such a happy lil' girl. ahahaa. i missed it soo much. but like abit paiseh to buy. so he bought for me. hahaha. =p

cheer up's done, but i got all my old bruises and injury back from training today.
my elbow's swollen again laaa. ):
and my knee's bruised as usual.
when i saw ziping jiao lian and jing hui and coach walk in today...we all groaned. I knew there was alot of rolling to start and end with. and well. it was quite jialat for sii, madd and me.
sii was soo tired. we couldnt breathe after awhile laa..like cant even take in deep breaths. cause we had to get the balls and rotate among us 3 only. sigh. torturous. but fruitful to me i guess.sii's right...i keep rolling backwards. lol.

feeling under the weather again. rahhh.

xiao mo gu, look after your ankle ah.and thanks for more pimples. rawr.
gillian, do warm up properly!
partner jiayou! sii jiayou! (:

end with this really cute comic strip from bitterstickgal:
stickgal and frog prince. (:

omg. 1.03am. i need to sleeeeeep. gtg. nites. (:

2007-09-24T10:09:00.000+08:00

i cant concentrate in class.
i cant even finish a full 3 part question in my worksheet.
i'm hungry.
i'm starving.
stomach growling.
i'm not trusted.
dont know what to say le.

mo gu. drink more warm water then not painful le
partner. looking forward to training with u ltr

solitude.

2007-09-23T19:07:00.000+08:00

i'm glad thats blown over. (:
like really really really glad ):
hate it when we quarrel.
i think very soon we'd be taking knives and choppers to kill each other. ha ha.

anyway, dumbdumb did something sweet for me!! =p
but i havent gotten it yet though =|
thanks dear. (:
though i'm RAWRING Now. sheesh. i can feel my face burning laa. eeek! >< rawr rawr!
something lesser than 3..omg laa. =| =| =| AHHH! mel's poor face!! =x =x

went velocity for lunch today. and i saw mark, edwin (referee), zhiyong they all. and np's valerie i think. that really tall center. and i realized how much i missed volleyball. like beach volleyball. i really miss it loads. ): SENTOSA, WEDNESDAY. anyone?? (:

madd and wilson signed up on the list le. hahas. not marriage list. but going sentosa list. dont get me wrong =p hehe.madd's gonna kill me. =p

2007-09-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

dumbdumb still hates me, i guess.
seeing the way he replied.
darn. ):
and the heart's still gone.
its just not mel's day too.

finally done with freaking PP poster.
it'd better give me a better grade unlike FYP, even though PP grades arent counted, but they are still reflected in my cert. so it'd better be worth it. RAH.

mel doesnt like to socialize outside her circle of friends, especially when there are girls in the group. I'm like afraid of them cause of my experience in my girls school in sec 3 laa. kanna bullied like crap. so i'm naturally more apprehensive of girls than guys. i cant help it.. sigh. but i promised. and i feel really bad about today. mel mel, jiayou bah.. keep your word. and its you who let someone down. not the other way round.
);

mo gu, i'll be waiting for your candies.(:

2007-09-22T13:34:00.000+08:00

i made my dumbdumb upset again.
and i'm so upset tooo
torn.
one is my responsibility to finish PP poster by today.
the other is my wanting to just lie to my parents and go out.
i'm such a failure. gosh.
i hate you PP!
i hate you legs! )':
it's the first. first. first.
and i cant go out.
zzz.
dont go offline please. ):

i better go finish my screwed up PP poster.
and by today.
so that i dont disappoint dumbdumb again tmr.
i promised.
though i dont think i'll be a good teacher, i'll try my bestest to teach lil kids tmr. haha.
and i'll have a good laugh after that. heehee.

hope you're not sick already.

PP poster. chiong arh! T_T
HATE RP!

2007-09-22T00:38:00.000+08:00

LEE SHU HUI. YOU'RE MINCED MEAT. MEL HATES YOUU!! RAWR!
thanks for tricking and bluffing me and madd to run 4.8km ah!!
use coach's name somemore!
make me so guilty.
my legs are positively breaking now )':
cannot walk properly le laa.
someone dial 911.
rawr.

LEE SHU HUI. LEE SHU HUI.you made me break my record laa. i never ran so much in my life! =|

anyway. YAY! it's 1 1 1 1 1! finally~ (:
its a sunny yellow dumbdumbdumb day.
thanks and thanks for everything.
<3

2007-09-20T03:12:00.000+08:00

wow.
i'm worth exactly $2,329,060.
hahaaa. took this quiz from a website.
not bad eh..so...

who wanna buy me? hahaa. must gimme 2,329,060 dollars hor!
and the quiz is US i think. so must give US dollar.
or better UK pounds. haahaha. =p

i so late havent sleep.
gonna get murdered tmr. >.<
meeting madd for pepper lunch (lunch)!

2 more days to go.

2007-09-19T22:45:00.000+08:00

i dunno what to blog about today.
mel breaks record. didnt maple for a whole day.
didnt feel like it anyway.
there's training tmr.
gym training.
i suddenly like lost my motivation in training again.
i love vball...but..

i like the song in fel's blog alot!
its like super sweet laaa. hahaa.

i think i ate alot today. =|
got to watch 3 days of 7pm show in a row. haha. i wanna watch the last 2 episodes! but gonna miss tmr's ):

and my dad asked me over dinner today "he ta fen shou le ah?"
scare me sia. he was joking because he was so stunned to see me back home for dinner 3 days in a row. my sis and bro all stared at me. zzz. i know my dad. he'd nvr use this tone if he really knew.

dumbdumb take care please. dont fall sicker hor. )=

*x-SiMpLy IntOXiCateD-x*

x-SiMpLy IntOXiCateD-x